Brot das niemals jemandem etwas tun würde @official-stabbrot - Tumblr Blog

please just watch this

Source: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, September 21, 2025

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hurdy-girly

“average loaf of bread is depressed” factoid actualy just statistical error. average loaf of bread has 0 emotions. Bernd das Brot, who lives in Germany & lives a hellish existence as a children’s mascot who swears on tv, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

trickarrowsandbatarangs

German children’s tv show mascot Bernd das Brot would do numbers if he had a tumblr account:

sailor-cosmic-horror

The Hero of German childrens TV is Bernd the bread. He is a depressed rectangular loaf of bread with very short arms. He likes watching trains and his wall and is generally like a grownup, I love him

blackhollowstr

@official-stabbrot

official-bernd-das-brot

Dinge passieren auf Twitter

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ayjaydraws

he gets one (1) curse word, as a treat

vollkornbot

Today I found out I'm older than Bernd???

Are you...

...older than Bernd

...younger than Bernd

...the same age as Bernd

Voting ended onSep 19, 2024

(I love the picture on his Wikipedia page, I think it captures his ongoing existential crisis very well)

Wie geht es dir im 'Wellness Urlaub' ? (Link: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C916VpyoCb_/?igsh=eW1nemoybTJ2amhw )

war dringend nötig... aber jetzt wird das volle wellness programm durchgezogen.

#50% off bei allen teilnehmenden spas mit dem code “stabbedbybernd50”

#das Brötchen blutet zufällig #das hat nichts mit dem messer zu tun #BERND DAS STABBROT WÜRDE NIEMALS JEMANDEN STABBEN OK

#die Scheibe ist von alleine kaputt gegangen #ich schwöre

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homeotherm-deactivated20190108

#brb checking on bernd and his Brötchen 😳😳

siryyeet

Eines Tages will ich auf ne Demo und n Schild hochhalten wo nur n Bild von Bernd das Brot drauf ist. Kein Text oder so. Einfach nur Bernd das Brot <3

juliaandthephantoms

@official-stabbrot Bernd mit Messer vs. Afd Bernd

official-stabbrot

Bernd hasst die AfD, nur dass das klar ist

#das deserved sogar zwei messer #for legal reasons hier der disclaimer dass bernd (das brot) nie jemandem was tun würde #zumindest nicht auf diesem blog #was er in seiner freizeit mit den messern macht kann ich natürlich nicht garantieren

plottwist: Bernds big naturals sind Luftballons, die er aus Spaß spontan platzen lässt, deshalb das Messer. Allzeit bereit.

Wie kannst du es wagen zu behaupten, dass Bernds broobs fake sind

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#diese verletzung ist da zufällig #stab brot würde nie jemanden stabben

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Brot das niemals jemandem etwas tun würde