lost

“you must want to spend the rest of your life with yourself first”

I know sticks and stones broke your bones, but those pills and that alcohol won’t fix you, it’ll only break you even more.

I love you, I also know you don’t love me and I’m over watching you kiss her lips while holding my heart in your hand, so please I beg of you….just tell me you don’t love me so I can finally move on.

It’s not fair. You act like we were meant to be, but we don’t work. We aren’t something that you can fix, and it’s not like we haven’t tried to fix things, we have, and still, they don’t work. There’s nothing left to salvage between us. It’s best we just move on.

“I have gotten to the point I have always tried to avoid. It’s past midnight and instead of craving sleep, I’m only craving you. Why did I let it get to this?”

“But there are people who would never admit what they have done wrong.” she said. “There are people who would twist every little story just to make themselves feel like they are the good ones. There are people who would never change their attitude towards you no matter how much it hurts you. And it would be toxic and stressful to deal with those kind of people.” she laughed sarcastically and said, “Of course I understand why sometimes, you get tired of being kind. That, there are moments in your life when you get tired of showing love to people, who always seems to block and throw it all away, like a small piece of trash.”

“There is something so electrifying about a stranger holding your gaze It begins as a random looking and for a moment there two acts of randomness collide And though the initiation was random, the holding of the gaze a choice, like something spoke to them about each other, among hundred other faces, to decide to not look away If it’s in passing cars, the encounter is brief, but the after effects stay a while they might not shake your soul but provide a nudge they let it know how reviving”

“The more I look at you, the more I realize how much of silly mess you are. How you still shine brighter than the first light, guiding me through the dark. And how I love you even more, each day as it comes.”

“You taught me how to build walls around my heart because every time you treated me bad I was always the only one suffering; so I tried to build them higher and higher but you always seemed to find a way to tear them down, so to hell with them. I stitched an armor to my skin and I’m growing stronger every day and I won’t allow you to make me feel small anymore.”

“What went from hours of conversations to just a couple of texts a day. You stopped smiling. God I loved that smile but I don’t make you smile anymore. He’s lucky that you smile for him, anybody would be. He’s nice doh. Way nicer than me and you deserve that.”

“I am sorry I haven’t been the same anymore it’s just this heartache has become too heavy to hold and the weight of it has been breaking my bones and crushing my soul.”

“I have a bad habit of thinking things mean more than they do and it always leaves me standing there, with my arms stretched out too far, reaching for things that were never within my grasp to begin with.”

“I wanted to kiss him and tell him all of my secrets. I wanted to say I’d been waiting for this feeling for a long time. I wanted him to love me.”

“You are not mine but please, allow me to hold you like you are the most precious thing, like you are mine to love.”