Poems She Wrote

I used to wish for the life I have now, I just never expected to get it

Because I fell in love with you, I fell in love with life

Sonder : the realisation that each person is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

But..Do you want to love me?

My Aunty had the most beautiful garden I had ever seen, she spent so much time and love on it, she would plant heaps of flowers for the butterflies and bees to come and enjoy, she fucking loved bees. She died 7 years ago, I never got the chance to tell her I’m became a beekeeper, she doesn’t know and I never get to tell her, I hope she would be proud of me that I get to go to work everyday and look after the little creatures she adored so much.

If your younger self warned you, would you have listened?

I don’t know how to explain it, but I just have so much love to give. So much so that it suffocates or scares the people around me. It makes me feel so resentful and angry that I feel like I can’t safely give my love to anyone anymore.

It was pitch black, rain fall hard around us, I feel like we both wanted to say something but neither of us spoke up, just standing in silence. I sighed “I would give you a hug right now, but I can’t seem to see where you are” I spoke softly. All of a sudden, I felt his hands hold mine and softly guided them to his waist, allowing me to hug him if I wanted.

It took me a while to finally understand that I still miss you. I still miss the long nights, the endless conversations, the love and affection. I still miss all that and more without feeling guilty about it. Because although I miss you, I know better now.

There’s a version of us that survived somewhere…right????

You’re always going to feel a little bit like home to me, no matter how temporary we were or how badly it lit into flames. It was still beautiful and I’m so thankful that I got to call so many hearts my home.