the “holding out as married” rule is so fucked up
like… not only can I not marry the love of my life without losing my health insurance and the $800 or so a month I’m forced to survive on
but I can’t even CALL her “my wife” casually
like literally the US gov’t has people whose job it is to go and interview the family, friends, & neighbors of disabled people to just make sure that they never refer to anyone in their life as “my wife” or “my husband” etc
and if you DO, then SNAP! You’re defrauding the US gov’t of the pittance you can barely survive on and you are no longer entitled to your disability benefits
(some kinds of benefits might remain in diminished form but if you were disabled before age 22 you are fucked COMPLETELY and can’t get them back even if you divorce… the only loophole is if the other person was ALSO deemed disabled before 22, because that fucking makes sense)
and this is just… legal and no one but disabled activists ever talks about this shit
so yeah I’d love some of that gay marriage shit but I will never be able to get married, and to add insult to injury, I can’t even casually refer to my partner as “my wife” without risking the health insurance and income I need to survive as a disabled lesbian
this is what we mean when we say the USA does NOT have marriage equality yet
