to be alive is power

“THIS IS FULL OF LIES,” Becca shouted, tossing her phone carelessly onto the counter. 

There was still an hour until close at AKF, but no one was in the store and, Becca had commented earlier, no one was likely to. It was cold and rainy and you weren’t going to go out in this weather unless you had to. So Becca had spent the downtime doing what she always did: stalking people on social media. 

Today, it had been Rachel Lloyd. 

She’d friended her several years ago for the sole purpose of stalking her. She’d once hoped that she’d find some dirt that she could pass on to Seth and shatter the perfect image he had of Rachel in his head. 

So far, so such luck. 

She’d been excited a few minutes ago, when she realized that Rachel had just been tagged in a bunch of photos at a bar. She knew that a bad picture wouldn’t change Seth’s mind, but it would make Becca feel better about herself. She’d eager scrolled through every single one, but not one was bad. Not one. 

“How is she real?” Becca groaned, “She’s literally perfect in every. single. one. She’s like the Barney Stinson of Virginia Beach. Incapable of taking a bad picture. And I bet you she’s wasted in all of these. How is that possible to look that good, when you are completely drunk and in horrible lighting?”

But talking about books was second only to actually reading them. And on slow, rainy days, Sasha loved nothing more than curling up in one of the store’s many cozy arm chairs or sitting on the counter while she chatted with Becca.

On this particular slow day, Sasha had collected a stack of old Hemingways and was flipping through them, finding her favorite passages and reading them aloud. This seemed fun only for her as Becca was, yet again, torturing herself on Facebook.

She started at Becca’s first outburst. At her second, Sasha hopped off the counter, marking her place in A Farewell to Arms with a rumpled business card.

Patting Becca on the shoulder, Sasha looped an arm around her as she relieved her of her phone. “Why do you do this to yourself, Bex? Why do you torture yourself like this? If social media had been around in Jane Austen’s day, do you think Marianne Dashwood would’ve stalked Mr. Willoughby on Facebook?” She paused, realizing Marianne probably would’ve, before quickly adding, “That’s probably a bad example. But still.”

She sighed, looking through Becca’s photos. “You know what I see here? A cute, adorable, confident women who is better than Rachel Lloyd any day.”

Dropping her phone back into Becca’s hand, she squeezed her shoulder and hopping back onto the counter. “He’ll come around, Bex. He will. Just give him time. After all, Edmund Bertram wasn’t moved in a day. And Seth Connors likely won’t be either.”

so here’s what i said to lizzy when she played tony last time. i’m sure we’ll end up with something different than what lizzy and i were planning but the sentiment is all still the same on sasha’s end. but, yeah, here’s some stuff about how sasha feels about tony:

although sasha has a crush on tony, i don’t think she would ever actually tell him?? i feel like she pines more from her own little world and ~imagines her life with tony but never really acts upon her feelings??

i do also feel like these two are/could be friends though. they’re the same age so maybe they knew each other in high school. but before I go on, when did tony start dating his girlfriend and how long were they together before they died?? because sasha and tony might not have been friends during that time? or maybe not close??

but I could actually see them being friends now and sasha would hurt so much for him. because when other people are in pain, sasha is in pain for them and basically she’d be like YOU JUST NEED A BLANKET AND A HUG AND HELP BEING NOT SO TORTURED. and would probably not really know how to help him but really want to help him??

//end

so yeah. i feel like sasha romanticizes people a lot and she fits them into the molds of her book characters and they don’t always turn out that way?? and when they don’t, sasha is the one who ends up getting hurt? but she’s such a trusting and loving soul that she doesn’t really even learn from those mistakes? she just finds someone else to love and hope to save and basically ~repeats the cycle? which definitely isn’t healthy but until sasha ends up with a real relationship, she’s going to endlessly find people to pine after and hope to save.

WAIT I forget. We decided Carrie/Annie/Jane have a reading thing together right? But yes, Annie could know/have meet Sasha through Carrie. I’m sure they’ve known about each other for a long time. Annie is good friends with Will too. So even though she has had her obsession with Owen, she still was normal around one of Sasha’s cousins XD

So yeah, I’m sure they met sometime along the way. I’m not sure they’d be super close, but I’m sure they’d get along. But they would definitely know each other!

*snorts* ANNIE I’M SUCH A MESS THAT WAS A TYPO. so that was actually supposed to be sasha/jane/carrie reading trio. i’m playing an entire friend group, ahahaha. but yes! i think these two have had lots of opportunites to meet?? because sasha is also super close with the adams kids so she was probably at their house a lot when they were younger. and there’s always the option that sasha and annie met through carrie. and she’s with her cousins A LOT so also will. i just feel like these two have been on each other’s radar/friends for a really long time???

so, let’s see. did you see the thing i said about sasha spending a lot of time at jane and carrie’s apartment and maybe that’s where sean has seen her/where he admires her from afar? and depending on how much sasha actually sees him/talks to him would probably gauge how she feels about him?? because if she actually talks to him i could see her thinking he’s either cute or weird (or literally both, tbh, ahahaha) and maybe at some point they end up becoming friends? like if he’s around a lot i could see her inviting him to stay esp for like book club or something (headcanon that he does one time and it’s literally the most awkward and hilarious thing ever, oh man.)

i also feel like sasha would really see him romantically, at least at first. because she currently likes tony, she’s really more dead set on him? i feel like once she sets her sights on someone, she doesn’t really veer until she either ends up dating them (and discovers that she has deeply romanticized them and it ends? sometimes badly???) or they end up dating someone else and she gives up because she’s lost her chance. sasha also does have an endless need to save people and i think that’s a lot of her draw to tony. and because sean seems more confident/together, i think that’s why she wouldn’t initially think of him romantically??? though oh wow. i think she could definitely come around. especially if she becomes friends with sean and realizes he’s an actual adorable mess <333

SURROGATE SIBLINGS I LOVE <33333333  I can tooootally picture them all running around together growing up, too, and I’m so heart eyes and honestly poor Sasha dealing with all these boys hahahahha

And yes!!  Will does like to read but yeah it’s def on the dl hahahaha but he doesn’t exactly try to ~hide~ it either and yeah Sasha would def know, like she’s family yknow <3  There are no secrets here hahahah  Omg and I’m all about them giving each other reading recs and trading books and discussing them and meanwhile the rest of the family is like ‘…?????…what nerds…’ basically hahahaha  OMG HAHAHAHAH but honestly he tooootally hates it when she calls him Willie ngl and he def grumbles and smdh but she’s def the only person who’s allowed to call him that <333333  

JO MARCH I LOVE also her roping them into plays and I’m just imagining Will and Owen sitting there v reluctant and uncomfortable and probs like wearing flower crowns or something IM CRYIN <3333333

RIGHT?!?! but sasha, like, OWNED THOSE BOYS, ahahaha. and when jenn and i chatted about james, we decided that james and chris were probably very much Pro Plays and probably constantly tried to rope everyone into doing plays with them and owen and will were probably just like “i hate you all. such much.” also since stu and birdie were around they probably were in plays too. and i’m just realizing that i should probably go leave lizzy a comment because i can so totally see drew being in this too. BASICALLY JUST ALL THE PEOPLE. THEY ALL GOT PARTS IN THE PLAYS, ahahaha.

AND WILL AND OWEN WEARING FLOWER CROWNS. THAT IS SO ACCURATE, I’M CRYING. i feel like will was waaaaaay more willing than owen. so he probably got smaller parts and things and she went easier on him because of that. though i could also see her covertly telling him that since he’s read the book they’re performing that she gave him an extra special part, hahaha. meanwhile there’s owen and sometimes he was so unwilling she cast him as a rock or grass or something. I’M CRYING. THIS IS TOO HILARIOUS.

Omgosh Tina yes. I deff think Sasha and Birdie would get along. Birdie would totally happy join in the plays Sasha came up with and probably tried to get the guys to do it too all the time. I think she was probably glad when the Shaws came around because that meant she had another girl to play with. So I can definitely see them still being friends and grabbing coffee together from time to time!

!!!!!! ANNIE I LOVE ALL OF THIS. i think sasha totally felt the same about birdie! she grew up with so many guys that she so totally loved having another girl around! and since she had so many guys, she didn’t always get to do plays with ladies in them (or she had to force a guy to be a lady, haha) so she probably doubly loved it when birdie was around!

okay but I love the selznick/shaw plays a lot especially b/c you know owen was basically reading the lines with the same deadpan ~ron swanson~ voice that he has 99% of the time and like idk what plays they did but heehee i’m just cackling imagining owen doing it <333 BUT OFC CHRIS WAS SUPPORTIVE!!!!! omg tho I can totally see chris and sasha being the ones who are like YES WE MUST DO THE THING GUYS!!!! and owen and will like: okay but what if we just build the sets??!?!?!? but then they ended up getting cast hahaha ;DDD

ahhhhh the raft tho!!!!! that is 1039803984%%% more owen’s speed and he would have been all about helping her with that and then he’d teach her how to fish and how to navigate using the stars and smdh owen is such a nerd and he doesn’t even know it <3

ahhhhahahahahah sasha telling him all about p&p tho HAHAH (he probably falls asleep)

okay so when jenn and i were first plotting james and sasha, we talked about how james was also reALLY supportive of sasha’s plays and james and chris were the ones so totally got everyone else to join. and they probably starred in all the places. and sometimes sasha would probably give owen an easy out and, like, make him a rock or grass or something, ahahaha. “as long as you’re participating owen!” and especially for plays where they didn’t need as many people??? and since sasha was the only girl most of the time, chris/james probably played a girl sometimes. and i just-- THESE PLAYS JUST GOT SO MUCH FUNNIER. and also sasha would totally let owen do the sets... in addition to acting, ahahahaha.

OH MAN. YES GOOD. sasha would LOVE that!!! but then she’d also, like, assume he could teach her all these other things??? so she probably liked to ride horses when she was younger because so many people did in british novels and so she probably asked owen to take her. and maybe he just became the kind of ~official outdoors man and helped her apply real life experience to all these things she read in books??

OMG I JUST LOVE HOW SASHA BASICALLY MANIPULATES PEOPLE INTO READING BOOKS/JOINING HER BOOKCLUB SHE’S MY ACTUAL FAV!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahahah also I love jane betraying colin like “nah, man, that’s totally your copy of s&s just gonna let everyone know that you love jane austen” <33333

LKJlkjalskfjalkfjlJLAKSJFDLKASFJLKSADFJLKSADFJLKSADFJLASFDLKLKJASFLAKJSFLJ omg I LOVE HER SHOWING UP AT HIS HOUSE AFTER READING ONE OF HIS ~SCARIER/MORE VIOLENT RECS~ he’s like “this is just a little more intense than hitchhikers but it’s amazing so give it a chance” and then she’s camping out in his living room and he’s like “wow this didn’t go as I planned” but honestly that is literally the most chase/bobby/colin house thing in the world hahah.

TINA I JUST SPIT OUT MY WATER!!!!!!! THE FACT THAT COLIN/JANE’S “OMG OUR PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN LETS GET WILD” plan are literally LETS CHECK OUT WAY TOO MANY BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY AND INVITE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND WE WILL READ. OUT. LOUD. TO THEM. “this is gonna be so wild” colina @ jane probs SMDH

LIZZY THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS BEAUTIFUL. I’M LITERALLY CRYING OF LAUGHTER. and right???? i feel like sasha is also around at all of these jane/carrie/colin book club/reading parties. and since she works at the book store she might be able to get them all discounts on whatever they choose to read??? and maybe she’s also like “i’m the one getting you cheap books so i at least get double the say in what we read” and jane/carrie/sasha probably all have really similar tastes and constantly out vote colin. so he’s probably read sooo many chick lit things (or, honestly, i see the three ladies really loving classics so maybe more classic romances) than any other dude. and he’s probably just constantly like “why did i join this book club again???” to which they’re all like “because you love us. and we made you.”

SHE SO WOULD, AHAHAHA. and she’d probably like glare at him and be like “if you really want me to read this, you’re going to have to sit RIGHT THERE while i read it. or maybe read it to me. and then stay with me until i fall asleep. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS BOOK. also if you want to edit out the scary parts, i would be so grateful.” probably curls up with her head in his lap and hands him the book, ahahhaa. HIS FRIENDSHIP IS MY FAV. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. and right??? i feel like people just showing up at their house is actually a more common thing and bobby is just like “i didn’t realize i’d moved into grand central station.” probably considers answering the door every time someone comes jUST SO he can charge them admission, ahahaha. ~another tip from bobby larsson’s ways to make money.

RIGHT?!?! THE ADAMS FAMILY IS MY FAV FOREVER. because that is such a colin and jane thing to do, ahahaha. i feel like “reading parties” were such a thing that their house. and they probably bought all of these sweets that were sO FULL OF SUGAR and like things that they ~weren’t supposed to eat. and then just all sat there eating and reading and drinking lots of tea. and wow. THAT SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF PARTY. why am i not an adams kid??

I just realized that I don’t think we’ve started anything for these two??? But they most definitely know each other b/c 1) their siblings are dating (and it’s cute b/c I think that they are both natalie x james shippers) and 2) val also dated sasha’s cousin + the connors and selznicks being close forever & obviously the shaws are an extension of that. <33

tbh, i can see the connors/selznicks/shaws doing like family dinners and having bbqs and lots of things like that?? i seriously feel like they are all basically family. and sasha so totally loves natalie and valerie because they’re so sweet. but also sasha grew up around a lot of boys so i feel like she loves having ~girl friends/family.

AHAHAHA. oh honey! i think sasha had literally romanticized bobby so much that when she actually dated him, it was a HUUUUUGE blow that he wasn’t at all the person she thought he was. and she’s more hurt by the fact that she couldn’t help him and she couldn’t save him and that he literally wouldn’t let her do ANYTHING for him. and she probably didn’t listen to valerie because she had romanticized him so much??? and then after they broke up i could totally see sasha coming to valerie and apologizing for not listening to her and trying things anyway. (because i do feel like sasha dated bobby after valerie??? and, tbh, if valerie and sasha are that close, bobby could’ve dated her purely because he was mad at valerie for leaving him. in which case he would’ve been reaaaaaaaaally vengeful and probably not nice to sasha at all =/)

okay wow. you can tell i’m tired by the fact that i just went “oh sasha and chase dated??? let me just plot that out with ch-- mYSELF.” .... obviously chase is a real person and i just tried to ask him about his relationship with sasha *FACEPALM* .... okay so. i feel like almost all of chase’s breakups have been on his side of things. because he always thinks that maybe this time will be different and that he’ll finally find someone he can make things work with. and things start off great and then he starts avoiding them and making plans without them and eventually decides that he needs to get his music and career in line before he throws in another person. and so he usually ends up breaking things off. and i think that is totally what happened with sasha too. and i think sasha was hurt but also understood?? and i feel like it was a while ago (i’ll have to dig out chase’s timeline and see when he dated everyone else) but sasha might have been one of the first ones this happened with?? and i feel like they were fun and were pretty good ~friends. but dating just didn’t really work out?? so i think sasha would still be okay with seeing chase and they’re probably cool by now. and sasha might honestly see him quite a bit now since she’s an extension of jane/carrie and probably goes to parties with them and such. so i feel like chase and sasha very much run in the same circle and it’s not really a problem??

YES TO ALL OF THIS :)

John will happily be her savior and hero to one of her novels!

ALEXANDRA “SASHA” SHAW / emma watson

Relationships: (brother:) James Shaw, (cousins:) Christopher “Chris” Selznick, William “Will” Selznick, Owen Selznick, (ex-boyfriends:) Chase Hamels, Robert “Bobby” Larsson, (best friend:) Carrie Fincher, (best friend/co-worker:) Rebecca “Becca” Thompson, (interest:) Anthony “Tony” Mitchell, (rival:) Rachel Lloyd

Age: 22 Occupation: Assistant Manager @ AFK Books, Music, & Movies Description:  Sasha is obsessed with romance novels and poetry. She tends to live in her own little world and can be extremely dramatic. She feels everything deeply. Her heart was broken by her ex-boyfriend, Bobby, when she discovered he was a thief and wouldn’t stop. She still keeps his secret, though. She currently has a huge crush on Tony Mitchell. She finds his situation tragic.