Reading on the Obsidian Throne

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

on it boss

trapped in the catacombs boss

people keep whispering "oathbreaker" at me when i walk past them

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

Can someone explain to me why in the fuck the Wizarding Council just banned "Summon Greater Xylophone?!" How on Earth was that spell being used such that it was bannable?

“this is how you age when you’re unproblematic” NO! stop assigning moral weight to attractiveness! I am not hot because I’m a good person! I am hot because all of my friends are gorgeous! I’m absorbing their beauty! Like a vampire! Because I’m evil!

i dont even want to fight in evil kingdom anymore but good kingdom wotn take me on account of my evil red sword and my skull pauldrons, and my jet black spiky armor and on account of the fact i killed 200 pixies just for fun and also they have regulations on how spiky your armor can be and the fact i killed 400 pixies

im his combination court jester and evil vizier and yes, it is as homoerotic as it sounds