hard love.

I feel like you’re cursed to have a baby face forever. You’re like Benjamin Button and you’re aging in reverse. My Dylan is actually a girl and she’s a mix of some sort. I’m pretty sure it’s pitbull and I’m not even sure what else. But she’s a sweetheart and she’ll love you the second you set eyes on her and give her attention. Don’t worry, I’ve got you. You won’t be getting burned on my watch, bro.

That’s my new name, Ty. Don’t wear it out. Oh shit, I didn’t know. I’ll make sure to give your girl the love and affection one Dylan should give to another. It’s what she deserves. So she’s a mut? If you’re wanting to know what exactly she is, get her to 23 and Me. It’ll be like love at first sight. We Dylans stick together, you know? Thank God. You’re a savior. @fcktblackburn

So you read the books? You’re that Twilight type fan person. I have to say i was not expecting this revelation. Bella didn’t know what she wanted, let’s be honest here. I’m sure if any of the other guys showed interest in her, it would have been a love square instead of a triangle. Both? There’s the charm, yes, and then you pull dad jokes because you think is cool. Which turns out to be pretty sad because dad jokes aren’t cool anymore? You need to let it go. I just might! @obrienhqs

I wouldn’t be a very honest person if I said no. Really? I come with surprises up my sleeve, I guess. Are you sure she wasn’t just thirsty for attention? I mean, she tries to play this cool and calm act and becomes sort of apathetic, but I think it was just a front. Dad jokes are out of style? Since when? Watch me bring them back. You have my word. @nbdgillies

That seems like a legit explanation for your suffering in this life. I’m totally with you there. I can see it. Hey, but don’t forget to eat and drink. There are delivery services who can provide you with all that stuff while you’re hiding away from the world, okay? It’s settled then. You’re going to Alaska. Please make sure to take endless pictures. I’ll come back to you when winter rolls around because then I’m gonna complain about everything I hate about the season. Is that a deal? It’s crazy sometimes. We should go back to just showing actors and models how they are. Not creating a new human by photoshopping every detail. 

I most definitely won’t forget to replenish my fragile body with the fluids it needs to carry on. I’ll only go to Alaska if you come with me. I would feel pretty misplaced if I didn’t have some supervision with me. Right? Magazines are the worst for them. I feel like we should all take a page from That’s So Raven’s book and it this issue head on. @itsnataliadyr

This is so long and so on, this is what i understood from this ramble. You’re like Edward Cullen and my apologies, i’m Team Jacob but also i don’t want Bella with him so.. I just like Jacob, who cares. You wish to wear tight clothes, no matter how much you say no no no we all know you’re just jealous because you can’t pull them off as well as the people you see wearing. Oh, and your abs are photo shopped, which doesn’t surprise me. Did i miss out on anything?

Just because I said I’m Edward Cullen doesn’t mean I like him more. I’ve always been a Jacob fan, even in the books. And yes, I read them all and relished in every moment of it. I’m not afraid to admit it. He deserved better and gave Bella way too much credit. What gives it away? Is it my childish boy charm? My need to pull dad jokes at every opportunity? Colour me intrigued now. I can’t let this go. No, I think that pretty much summed it all up. You have great paraphrasing skills. Add that to your resume. @nbdgillies

Dude, you just said all the words I could never bring myself to say in my whole entire life. You’re my actual hero. I’m going to become your number one fan, just watch me. Though, I don’t burn as much as I used to, because even though she’s not around me 24/7, whenever I go to the beach, I can hear my mum’s voice screaming at me in the back of my head to put on sunscreen and keep doing it when I feel like I’ve got to until I head back inside. Crazy shit, man. 

Finally, someone who can relate. Thank you, Spiderman. I’m no hero, dude. That’s all you. I’m sure you do your own stunts too. Sunscreen feels like a total scam, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to bathe in it as often as I can. My mom would always whine at me to reapply, but at that point reapplying sunscreen felt the the majority of what I was doing instead of enjoying the sun. Right? I thought I was insane for thinking about it, but now not so much. @hollandjpg

This was truly an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. I am so sorry summer has hurt you so badly. I hope Greece pleasantly surprises you and shows you just how great summer can be.

What can I say? I have a flair for the dramatics, and I probably went a little overboard. But I can’t take it back now. I really appreciate that, I’m sure when the Greece trip comes along I’ll feel better about summer, for now I’m just wallowing in self pity. @diannahq

This is why I’m thankful for my Cuban heritage because it tends to balance things out. Just be careful out there okay? Don’t need to get sick from too much sun or completely fry yourself. Don’t even get me started on humidity, it is actually the devil. Can’t do it, nope. You completely blew the fantasy away for me Dylan, how could you? I’m  Lauren though, by the way.

I’ll try my very hardest. I think it’s my body’s way of telling me I’ll have a much more fun and enjoyable time with the puppies and Netflix. I’ll be living through the characters in movies who make tanning look so easy. Humidity is terrible and the reason why I shave my head during the summer so it won’t make me look like a frizz ball. But I tend to look like either an egghead or a thumb, so it’s a lose-lose. The truth was bound to come out, at least you’ve got it coming from the source now. It’s nice to meet you, Lauren. @lojcuregui

          —- I feel like we are polar opposites, bro. I mean, I do not talk about swimsuits or tans, but summer is, by far, my favorite season. I love being on the boat with the pals, drinking beers, and fishing. I am also the one who finds summertime my time to find muse for more music. I kind of hate sunburn, but I found a solution - caking on the SPF 90. I wear sunscreen like its attire, bro. Hey there, Dylan. I’m Alex, and all my junk in the trunk is not photoshopped. It’s the real deal.

It might be the old man coming out of me but lately I just can’t take the heat. That does sound fun but even with SPF 90, I think I just can’t hang. Trust me, I know. But at some point feeling like a greased monkey turns from being funny to aggravating. You win in this case, in fact you probably win at life with that alone. I would ask you to teach me your ways but it’s all hereditary, I’m sure. @awgzkrth

Okay first of all sod off I love wearing booty shorts when it’s the summer because I can blind people with my pasty as fuck legs and lower butt cheeks while they get super confused by the fact there is actually muscle definition on this girl who is guzzling a bowl of pasta like it’s a life itself, because my training never stops the last few years I can’t wait for a bit of a rest when these films are over as long as i don’t end up straight on another show that requires me to be physically fit. My names daisy and I reflect light to a degree that damages peoples retainers. Shame about the photo shop, your chest in american assassin had me thinking a lot of naughty things.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you rock the hell out of them. It makes me wish I had the body type to wear them and actually pull them off. You mean you have toned muscles in your butt? Don’t tempt me with that and then take it away. Show me your ways, because I’m exactly like you and I think pasta is a food that everyone should be enjoying. ow often would you say that you train? We share the same struggles, I feel you on a deep level. Are you let down now? I wouldn’t want to be a literal sight for sore eyes and taint you with this body.

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A: I would have to say in the short time I’ve been here, I’ve really been loving @ohlizzo and @daxxencriss‘s dynamic? I don’t know why but I just love them and every time I see either of them on my dash my heart stops shgjkl. Is that bad lmao idk ignore me thanks.

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