Daddy-Wan Kenobi

Babe I swear I just saw their reblog first, I didn’t ignore yours, it was just that yours was further down the dash, that’s not on me that’s on tumblr babe, tumblr wants to drive a wedge between us, I love you I swear babe, pls believe me pls don’t let them win

i actually have such crazy lore i could drop y’all wouldn’t even believe

the president of el salvador has seen me in a bikini

i once was pushed off a ski lift and got an entire mountainside shut down for an hour

ben barnes told me he reads mauraders fanfics where he’s been fancast as sirius black and he shares them with his friends

hawk, i need the stories for these lore drops like immediately oh my god this is hilarious

i got the phone number of a famous singer’s brother in las vegas when i was exploring by walking across as many casino skybridges as possible and he let me into the private MGM apartment walkway since i didn’t have a keycard

I am not the slightest bit surprised by a single one of these, Hawk 😂

i made the front page of a newspaper in a foreign country after partying on the fourth of july in red white and blue clothes and only found out when the hostel security guard showed me the next morning

i’ve crawled under barbed wire in the desert

i helped deliver a stranger’s baby (was not a medical professional)

i got denied entry to turks and caicos until i let the border agent give me their number

i got my first tattoo in a foreign country, my second tattoo from a shop whose owner was outed later to be a convicted felon, and my third tattoo at comic con while playing pokemon go

I KNEW IT

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.