𓆟 𓆜 𓆞

It's unfortunate how often the solution to a problem is just talking to people. You'd think it could be something easier like making a comprehensive chart or list, or reading everything you can find on the subject, but no, so often you can do all that and you still have to talk to people.

in seriousness my observation is that people who really strongly desire & believe in closure or healing or wtv are often really tormented by the idea that they could feel differently about something down the line or change their minds or gain a new perspective and so there's this like constant frantic effort to narrativise everything in one final definitive way (imo this is sometimes the root of the classic "friend who starts every conversation by telling u they had a breakthrough in therapy" phenomenon) & at some point it's just like yknow i think we can just be fine with the possibility that we will change our minds about our own personal histories & what they mean & no story with a The End is really going to capture that...... like it's pretty inescapable u will experience & understand your own memories differently over time, everything about u is in flux forever, if u want to fight that tooth and nail and experience it as a threat to your sense of personal identity that's up to u but it seems unpleasant

having bad days won’t erase your progress. taking a step back doesn’t mean you won’t keep taking steps forward.

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.