God Nyx

Alright. Wasn’t expecting this question. Sit down because it’s going to be a LONG post.

I won’t say the name of the app, but it’s a mobile game I played since I was like maybe 9 years old? So I have been playing it for about 10 years at that point. Some random guy said “You should join the military it was fun” as a joke. I didn’t think of it much at all, brushed it off and thought it was outrageous. I replied to him saying “there’s no way I am doing that.”

I couldn’t help but shake off that thought. It would creep up on me in the back of my mind. I looked up if it was easy to join the military (by that I mean, how easy it is for anyone to raise their hand to serve).

Fast forward to Graduation Day of High School. There’s this guy in uniform standing outside my school. They were not letting us in and we were all outside. He kept peeking in and I thought he was a watch guard. So I asked him if he was one, he got slightly offended and we shared a few jokes. Turns out he is a recruiter. I told him that I didn’t even have the strength to open a water bottle, and that I was extremely physically weak. Asked him if I could join the military. He went “Nah don’t do it.”

I went home… few days later, I couldn’t shake off the curiosity. I called the nearest recruiting center, someone picked up and we chatted for a bit. The recruiter on the line goes “Did you go to (My High School’s Name)” And I was surprised that he knew. Turns out it was the same recruiter from that day. The reason he remembered is because I kept saying I was physically weak. This was such a cool coincidence because keep in mind there are like more than 5 recruiting stations in NYC, and more than 50+ recruiters and he happened to be the one I called.

Anyways,, we get done with the processing and initialization and whatnot. I shipped out to Basic Training and I failed it the first time because I could not pass my fitness test. Imagine being there for 2 months and seeing all the people that started with you, pass and you’re the failure. I asked them for a second chance and I did basic training a second time, and I was able to pass my fitness test. Now I am here, almost 19 months deep in my contract, 1 year and 11 months left to go.

1. My mom getting casted in a drama. Opportunity popped up out of nowhere for her too where somebody (her friend who is loaded with money but has never really done films) asked her to be in it. Before this, I kept imagining her starring in a film or something.

2. Enlisting in the military was pretty dramatic… given the fragile state of my body prior to my enlistment. I am a year and few months deep into the contract. Got less than 2 years remaining.

3. Lowkey… like two years ago I manifested dr3gs in the strangest way possible. I had a dream about it and the next day somebody handed it to me no questions asked, because they were nervous after they themselves received it. I was confused but didn’t inquire. 💀

4. For one of my first “big” manifestations I had an SP, who, out of nowhere became obsessed with me. But by this time I had stopped desiring him entirely. I don’t wanna count this as a manifestation but it definitely was? I believe he was chasing hard cause I pulled back?

5. This was not an instant manifestation that I woke up and suddenly became less socially anxious. It was more gradual. But I can speak to any stranger, anyone I know, about anything at all. Before, I could not even look at anyone in the eyes while talking.

do you still consciously apply the loa? I’ve been stumped lately. So many small desires have materialized effortlessly. I just assume them and boom they unfold quickly and easily. But there’s a desire I have that I’ve wanted for so long now and it has not happened… I’m sure everyone has that ONE desire that led them to the law. Well, that is the desire that I am stuck on. I won’t bother specifying what I want because then I’ll dwell on the circumstances.

but the reason I am in your ask inbox is cause I recall you talking about how, for the longest time, you wanted to move to New York. It sounded like this was something you really wanted for a while. How/when did it finally happen for you? How did you stop obsessing over it?!

I’m at a point now where I don’t even feel satisfied with my successes because the one desire I really want is not materializing. And I don’t know how to drop that story.

Hey!! Nowadays, I just meditate a lot. More focused on buddhism teachings than the law.

ermmm it took me a WHILE to move to New York 😬 i was really young at that time anyway and did not know much about conscious manifesting. I never stopped obsessing it… even after moving there. It was my birthplace after all, I just never had a chance to actually grow up there other than yearly visits.

“running out of time” is a myth.

It’s your first time and only time living… probably. Unless Reincarnations are a thing, who knows.

You can’t do anything to live it “wrong”

it’s okay if it’s taking forever for you to find interest in something you wanna do.

It’s okay if there is no hobby in this world that catches your interest. Maybe the world just hasn’t found the right thing that suits your heart, specifically.

It’s okay if it’s taking you forever to find your first partner. It’s okay if it’s taking you forever to find the person you want to marry.

You know it’s funny. An 8 year old cant wait to turn 10. A 13 year old just wants to be one of those 16 year old cool kids. A 16 year old can’t wait to be a legal adult. An 18 year old thinks they are starting to turn ancient. A 20 year old thinks their life is coming to an end.

I haven’t reached any further than 20 yet… so I can’t really have a say on what these other ages feel. though I do already feel 25 because of my experiences which I feel forced me to grow up. At least I am younger than the age I perceive myself to be. This is probably the first time in my life I feel younger (yet older?) at the same. But emphasis on the younger… !

Okay, I will admit- I got carried away. I didn’t mean to share that piece of lore about myself. It’s not even lore, it’s a dumb thought process but okay whatever phew girl.

Point of the post being… yeah time, or age, is a weird thing. Everyone is exactly where they should be in life. There is no rush… and rush is only but a mental thing.

I realized today, I run more miles mentally than I ever did physically. There is a rush, a grasping, just always something- wanting more or just whatever. Being desperate or wanting relief or something dude idek. Maybe this is why I’ve always been more drawn towards substances, they tend to shut down noises.

I wish this sort of rush manifested in urgency towards actual running though, I am trying to get my run time down ;) … Here. I set an intention, that every one of you reading this post go for a run sometime this week. Even if it’s a short sprint or the slowest granny jog. I set another intention that, my own run time decreases and my mileage/pacing increases.

Happens to the best of us, dont worry. Just remember that these feelings are a result of your old assumptions (that you can’t have this thing that you desire) So feeling delusional or thinking it’s wishful thinking.. it’s all coming from the old state. You’re now already the person with your desire and there is nothing to do except for you to realize it.

A desire almost always means to want to move to a better place or have different things/outcomes.

But because there is this perception of a “different” outcome/reality, it doesn’t mean that you’re fighting against anything.

You aren’t fighting against your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, your situation etc.

Manifesting an sp isn’t different than any other manifestation just because it is a “specific” person. You can manifest driving them away or you can manifest them in a healthy loving relationship 🤷‍♀️ it’s up to you. How i feel about “free will”: If you see in terms of separation and how they’re having all these dramatic thoughts, of course your 3d is gonna reflect that. I don’t think by any means should you think your sp is a puppet and whatnot, or you know.. try to assert dominance. Because you most likely wont be happy with a relationship like that where you’re doing all the controlling and they are not their own person. That being said, they do reflect you- so no, they aren’t seperate from you. They are matching your actions. Remember EIYPO and how Neville said that if you wish to free a person, you just stop seeing them in a problem. So with your sp, stop seeing problems/problematic things going on between you two. Distance is merely imagined. Not talking? Not texting? Imagined. They said they hate you? Well… weren’t you the one who told yourself that they hate you, first? So you imagine yourself in a healthy and happy place. And it will reflect so. Manifesting an sp is so beautiful because you want to appreciate life with this person, there is nothing wrong with that. So stop thinking life is against you or the universe is against you and whatnot. Everything is perfect.

I had a realization lately that I’ve been focusing more on my unconscious manifestations, decisions, feelings than my conscious ones. By unconscious manifestation I mean, I’m not the one in control- but some unknown thing/universe/God is doing the work. That’s why i’ve been feeling out of control & spiraling. Good things would happen yet I was constantly frightened something would go wrong.

oh i love daydreaming and i feel like daydreaming manifests really fast. In the past i’d say stuff like “daydreaming manifests too” (holds true still) but now i feel like.. there’s no difference between daydreaming and living from the end. You’re enjoying yourself in both aren’t you? You’re living having your desires freely. So there’s really no need to be worried about whether you’re “daydreaming” or not, if that makes sense.

rigid rules aren’t gonna get you anywhere.

I know I used to say “stop fighting with yourself” maybe I even said that yesterday..

I think it could be phrased in a better way. That kind of stuff makes you loop a certain type of control… where you want to let go of things, but only under the condition that it makes you feel okay or things will turn out okay. So here you are, not truly being okay with what’s happening. Only a facade- only something you conditionally do to further manipulate reality.