posts from a dumbass

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whoa… the ancient philosophical quandary has at last been answered… he can has cheezburger

WAIT LET ME FIND THIS OLD DRAWING..

i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.

My favourite is the guy saying, “This is like being at the dmv”

a group of wizards playing "dont let it touch the ground" with a magic missile, giggling like children and bouncing it back and forth like a balloon, until one of them drops it and dies screaming in the most horrific explosion you've ever seen. the other wizards are unphased and continue the game with a new missile like nothing happened.

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

Why can't kidney stones look like this >:(

you above all others understand this post

it’s so funny to me that whoever makes jack manifold’s thumbnails drew on the white half of ranboo’s mask. he wasn’t wearing that mask in the video. he has to be recognizable for the views

Years after this, I still have the same postman. He still always wears trousers, but every time I answer the door, I’m pretty sure we both remember this incident.

tumblr is special because [incorrect answers only pls]

incorrect answers i specified incorrect answers

but the incorrect answers are boring! “because we’re all friends here”, “because no one here ever commited a murder”. If I say the fun shit like “tumblr is special because it allows me to comunicate with the ghost-beetle running the universe’s software” someone would say shit like “but that’s a correct answer! Didn’t you already know about the beetle?” and where does that leave me?

...i would like to hear more about the ghost-beetle running the universe’s software PLEASE

Some might say it's a bug, but I say it's a feature.