Suicide ideation is so weird. Making a lovely apple pie while thinking of bleeding out in the tub.

needing to take a shower: worst feeling in the world getting into the shower: hardest task in the world being in the shower: 🚿🧼🛁🧴🫧 getting out of the shower: second hardest task in the world being out of the shower: (soft hair) (soft skin) (cozy towel) (clean clothes) why is getting into the shower always so hard. i should remember this feeling (most beautiful feeling in the world) next time i need to take a shower

Stop saying “do it scared” i do everything scared I sleep scared Boy i’ll kill u

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

Memory loss doesn't look like what I thought it would. I spent several years convinced I could have a dissociative disorder primarily because I "didn't experience memory loss". I wasn't waking up in a strange place unaware of how I got there. I wasn't having people I'd never met come up to me and call me by a different name. I wasn't finding things I'd bought unintentionally or projects I'd done with no recollection of doing them. But I was, not remembering why I was upset in the middle of crying. Finding journal entries I didn't write. Suddenly not liking music I saved on a playlist named 'my favorite songs ever'. Randomly wanting to make drastic changes to my appearance and then forgetting why I wanted to look like that. Not knowing what day of the week it was, or how many days it had been since I did something (was that this morning or 3 days ago). Having friends tell me I was acting differently when I thought that was how I always acted.

honestly “the lion doesn’t concern himself with” is a pretty good anti-ocd phrase

the lion doesn’t concern himself with managing other people’s feelings

the lion doesn’t concern himself with what ifs

the lion doesn’t concern himself with germs

the lion doesn’t concern himself with reliving that one excruciatingly painful moment for the one thousandth time and imagining a better response

”I asked chatgpt” oh yeah? well i asked my parts and they told me to kill myself.