tortured. sickly. bisexual.
Keni
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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The Bowery Presents
RMH

Xuebing Du

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

titsay
Fai_Ryy
â
Claire Keane

Product Placement

Andulka
Sweet Seals For You, Always
almost home
cherry valley forever
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
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@nowwhhere
tortured. sickly. bisexual.

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My longing for autumn and winter exists at the same time as the utter fear and anxiety I'm fueled with their arrival.
in the kitchen. straight up pounding it against the floor. and by "it". haha. well. lets justr say. my head.
Will Wood music is so good itâs like. Iâm at a jazz show. Iâm at a rock concert. Iâm disassociating. Iâm hyper aware of how my body looks. I hate modern society. Canât we go back to the 50s? Wait the 50s sucked too. Iâm a vampire. Iâm a werewolf. Iâm incapable of love. I have so much love to give. Whatâs my gender anyway? I am at a skeleton swing party in an animated film.
pride month lil text
Our flag means death was the first tv show that ever straightbaited me. I know, if I knew something beforehand I'd probably tell it'd definitely be đ but I didn't know any of the actors, nor the writers, nor the plot, and I started it w/o seeing the trailer either because 1.) it was about pirates, and I love pirates, and 2.) it seemed silly. I was very much in need of some silliness.
I was so used to watching two men clearly being in love with each other, just, marry a woman and have children at some point of the plot, that that first kiss took me tf out and is one of the best scenes I've seen in my life. Not because it's a piece of profound, elaborate cinema, but because it meant everything to me back then. How happy it made me to finally see some actually funny, and sweet, and dumb, and cool, and tragic and proper queer poc in a western show in all their uncensored glory. All of the queer characters felt simply human, the main couple felt simply real.

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I love my mom. I can be just as cruel to her as she is with me. Fuck yeah
Look, I get what you're saying, but sometimes you've gotta reach for the low-hanging fruit. Let's get you a proper meal, refill your meds, and unfuck your living space as best we're able; if after that you still want cute girls to kill you with axes, you'll be in a much better physical and mental place to pursue that goal.
it's not dramatic when i confirm this pain that is red and is torture and is tears and is tearing is without a doubt so very very welcome
Danmei is a very unique genre of queer literature which both centers and de-centers queerness. None of the Danmei Iâve read have been essentially âaboutâ being gay. Theyâre just stories of life, of magic, of fantasy, of love, in which the main characters happen to be gay. Which is a kind of representation I have often seeked from western media and related intermediaries because why is every gay story, a coming out story? Is there not more to queer people than that?
However, while capturing the personhood of queer people; Danmei also captures the queerness of people because none of these stories would work if the characters werenât gay/queer
Wei Wuxianâs absolute buffoonery of misunderstanding Lan Zhanâs feelings in a decade long telephone game in which neither of them open their damn mouth would never work in a non-queer story because between a man and a woman romance would be the natural assumption of everyone around them and therefore wouldnât leave space for confusion. The misunderstanding of their romance is so closely tied to the plot succession that the plot would be⌠non existent without it
In TGCF Xie Lian and Hua Chengâs absolute aspirational love is literally in the backseat and front seat of the story. Not too different from a classic heroâs journey but instead of the hero being one person, itâs two people. They are so intertwined with eo that they become one character and witness a lot of the story together. Witness being a very interesting word choice. Their queerness doesnât drive the story but replacing one of them with a woman would dampen the effectâ itâd remove the uncertainty, the confusion from everyone around them, the genuine slow burn of the romance. Thereâs also this idea of Hua Cheng falling in love with Xie Lian so far separated from concepts such as gender or whatever which wouldnât have been hammered home in a straight romance where those conversations arenât always had between the audience and the story
And Erha.. well obviously. Half of Chu Wanningâs âthis is so inappropriateâ spiral wouldnât exist if he was a woman. And, the idea of Mo Ran being a âcut sleeveâ builds up the under current of his character being so far dismissed by society because heâs seen as immoral. Which just wouldnât serve to the same effect if he was into exclusively women because so was every other character.
Not in a single one of these stories is queerness and homosexuality the central theme of the story yet without them, the romance wouldnât be the same. Liking the same gender as you comes with baggage in our society which is so heteronormative and that effect has to exist in the person characters become for them to be authentic but at the same time, limiting that effect only to produce coming out stories/falling in love stories is unfair. Danmei mends this through a middle ground where the plot is the focus but it doesnât exist in a vaccum, it exists in queerness itself
Not only was the fucking on horseback a cool ass scene to read, IT IS LITERARY PROFOUND. And a cruel joke of the author's themes.
The "On Horseback" wine from Libei backstory is a clear indicator that there is indeed an intention behind that particular sex scene: everything the Xiaos do that is worthy of praise, of being told, is on top of their battlehorse, perpetually as soldiers. Either riding away or towards a fight, such is their fate of being born in Libei, a forever in war Kingdom. Xiao Chiye is proudly from the place he was born in, he represents it in Qudu and his imprisonment works as a metaphor for the oppression Libei endures from all sides of its limits.
Sorrounded by enemies, then, how do the Xiaos behave? Did the father toast with his wife on the horse because he couldn't do it anywhere else? I like to think because it wouldn't make sense anywhere else. It's been told that Libei soldiers cherish their battle animals like they cherish their brothers. Xiao Chiye said it himself; by taming it, he borrows Meng's wings and can fly as well. What are they borrowing from their horse then? I like to think that is always the promise of victory.
So the father toasts victory on his love, and the son years later does so as well. Although his fight isn't directly against the Biansha Tribes, he's still pretty much suffering from the consequences first hand. Every second Xiao Chiye gets to spend with his man is threatened with the idea that it might be the last one, so of course he chooses to take him on his horse (literally, ahem literally takes him). For Xiao Chiye, it means he won Shen Zechuan.
YOU GET IT
The first time he appeared he was on his horse, the last one he better be on it as well. Even his name has the horse hanzi. Don't even joke with me lad. The author cooked and I'm not glazing her and i'm definitely not connecting dots that aren't there.

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I know I'm in a bad place when I need to read/watch Sherlock Holmes stuff to cope with the horrors
Why
Can't I ever
Give
The first step...
Forever suspicious of the sun. That doesn't mean I don't let its warmth spoil me. However long it may be.
"I asked chatgpt" ok well I asked Sherlock Holmes and I got a monologue that contained two tangents, four accidental insults, the answer to my question, and three homoerotic comments about his flatmate
I've grown so accustomed to my passion being my sweet dreams I don't fight for them anymore. Even when I've admitted I can't keep lying to myself, it seems I'm more comfortable in my well-known misery than pursuing my happiness. I still don't love myself. I still think I deserve what I'm going through. It must be that. It has to be that.

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If you have time; please read this article
"Every word I once wrote has come back to haunt me," posted a writer who says she was arrested for "obscene" work.
As someone who enjoys the wide variety of stories that these authors have given us, itâs disheartening to see how much censorship and targeting they face. I really hope the authors can stay safe and Iâm heartbroken for them.
My only criticism with this article is the heavy focus on the âfemale desireâ aspect of Danmei, (even if that is part of it) especially considering a lot of these stories offer representation where other genres and authors donât even try. Not to mention the incredibly complex plot lines and stories these authors create which it feels like is being overlooked here.
Itâs very easy for readers to just dismiss these stories as a result when thereâs a lot more to them.
However, this article is very important to read. And we should all be aware of whatâs happening.
And as for the parts that talk about China pushing for âtraditional family valuesâ itâs a stark reminder to all of us that homophobia, misogyny and transphobia are all linked and we need to look out for each other.
I should be debating ominous bullshit in a tongue I call mine instead of licking endless scars from this ocean of humiliation I'm drowning in. I should be selfish and tell them I want to be a writer and kill myself after breaking a thousand hearts and speaking a hundred languages. I should be horrid. I want to be scary. I need to become mad.