AND ANOTHER THING i think him and toge have a fwb situation that works really well for them. yuta likes how toge communicates physically in that situation and how he moans wordlessly. toge likes how yuta listens and how he talks too much especially at first. and yuta’s big wide eyes staring into his soul does something deplorable to toge

and it matters to me that getting close to a curse makes him hard and it matters to me that when he’s really horny he goes haunted doll mode

like it matters to me so much that this whiny little scaredy cat grows up into a slightly dominant top with weird kinks and the same sweetie pee personality and that he’s happier and more comfortable with himself than he’s ever been. just perfectly at peace with himself while making his sexy funny super-strong curse-possessed underclassman rattle off profanities into the mattress. he’s a guy made entirely of love. and sex is love to him and enjoying his kinks is self love and he has complete & total respect for anyone he’s with bc he respects their vulnerability and THEIR love. and it shows. and that’s what i think

and i think he’s gay as hell and was really ashamed about it until all the other unrelated shame made it way less shameful in comparison. i think now he doesn’t tell anyone unless they ask directly bc i don’t think anyone’s got time for all that. but i think gojo and all the second years know bc it got around as these things do. and bc he’s been out and about for a while i think he’s been having crazy gay experiences with random sorcerers. and to be completely utterly honest i think next time he and yuji are in a room alone together yuta’s making the guy literally bite a pillow. what was i talking about

something about him growing out of his whiny weakling era and into competence + confidence and finally getting to connect with his body and desires in a way that doesn’t cause immediate devastating shame or fear. learning that not only is he normal and worthy of feeling good like anyone else, he’s also got an actual personality under there that wants specific things. and he’s got the drive to go get them now. he’s giving himself permission to want pleasure and sensations and physical experiences that he never thought were even part of the same reality as he was. he’s letting himself grow and experience and experiment. allowing not only the general desire to exist but the desires that are specific to him. even the perverse ones that he keeps to himself, he still has them For himself. and he’s learning sooo much about how good it feels to let yourself feel good

i neeeeed to finish my cursefucker fic

ok wait i figured out what compels me so much about cursefucker yuta. it’s him coping with/being influenced by all the feelings of being dirty/cursed for most of his life and like he isn’t/can’t be a normal person. and being in grief limbo with rika still hanging around. it’s not like a huge hangup either though it’s just what’s informed his kinks yk. it’s not a thing people know about him like it’s not affecting his behaviour where people can see it. and not some deep dark secret. just privately doing whatever it is he does, putting his mouth on whatever monsters he likes, then back to business as usual

it’s about the corruption, KIND of