INFP Fertiliser

The depth in which an INFP can feel emotions is extraordinary. The INFPs ability to relate to humankind’s joy and struggle is what makes them so necessary to the planet as a whole. This wisdom and insight is where morals and standards of behavior are born, and without this gift of conscience the world would be lost. This conscience is what separates us from both machines and animals and allows us to have our uniquely important human experience. Thank heaven for INFPs!

But this depth of contribution comes with a very specific price: exhaustion. The pain of disconnect and the lack of kindness within the human race triggers INFPs into the “hero” mode, where they wear themselves out for the benefit of the greater good.  As the champions of sovereignty and individuality, INFPs get exhausted in the service of others, while denying these qualities within themselves.  

Only INFPs, and a few others, really understand the depth of value they offer to the world. The subtle way in which an INFP manipulates others’ emotions is masterful, and the end results can be wonderful. Those fortunate enough to be around healthy INFPs feel like they can achieve anything. The rich inner world of the INFP, and their interpretation of endless possibilities can give us hope and a welcomed distraction in our times of struggle. They allow us an escape into a dream world where anything is possible, and in which we can feel safe and loved.

Healthy INFPs take it even further. They are masters at helping us choose a powerful story for our lives. They then follow it up by helping us build bridges from our current reality into a newly discovered story. And they do all this while facilitating us to stay authentic to the journey at hand. What a gift!

What most INFPs struggle with is to stay present and authentic to their own work when there is so much more that they “should” do for others. INFPs can even go so far as to sacrifice themselves, and live an inauthentic life, so that someone else can actualize their dreams. This, of course, eventually leads to resentment and emotional outbursts.

What stands in the way of full actualization of a balanced INFP is the following patterning:

Instead of setting boundaries according to what is authentic to them in real time, INFPs escape the outer reality into an inner fantasy land of infinite possibilities.

There’s one specific challenge that occurs here: relying solely on the inner world as a way of managing stress stops the INFP from building bridges between the inner and outer world. This causes a massive split in the INFP’s life, and can lead to feelings of loneliness, and a sense of disempowerment. When an INFP reaches this point of split, the outer world starts feeling restrictive or suffocating, and freedom and sovereignty can only exist in the distractions of the inner world. This inner world freedom often takes on the form of stories – either the ones they make up or are found in books, movies, or repetitive board and computer games. This patterning of escaping into a story of infinite possibilities perpetuates the existing wounds and ironically stops the INFP from living authentically in the outside world. If unhealed, this kind of escapism can also lead to addiction and other obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

The INFPs sovereignty and freedom in the outer world is tied into their level of consciousness regarding this tendency to split realities. In other words, the key is awareness of the inner and the outer worlds, as well as learning how to switch between the two. If these skills are not developed, the wounding and subsequent repetitive patterns will end up running the INFP’s life, knowingly or unknowingly.

As an INFP, if you wish to discover your own inner wounding, ask yourself if and when you are likely to exhibit one or more of the following:

You feel out of control in your outer surroundings, and instead of addressing it, you feel powerless and withdraw into what others might call “procrastination mode”.

You are deeply triggered when you are around people who try to assert power over others.

You are overly flexible with your own time when serving others, but feel emotionally depleted afterwards.

You escape the outer world by engaging in excessive reading or tv marathons.

You feel indecisive, and commit to things only to pull out in the last minute, creating friction in your relationships.

You feel criticized for being too emotional and for taking things too personally.

These are just some challenges you may face as a wounded INFP. If these patterns are not understood and accepted, they will unconsciously continue to run your life leaving you feeling enslaved to the world. Allowing these wounds to run your life will result in a lack of authentic direction and purpose, and can make you feel overwhelmed and out of control.

All these wounding patterns develop early in childhood, usually in the imprint period, and a lot of these pain points can be traced back to life events of a very specific flavor. Here are some examples of how thes pain points may have come about:

Observing people exercising authority over one another: in the family, in school, at work, and so on.

Growing  up as a “non-person” to your parents. The severity of this wound can range from being raised by a narcissistic parent to having an old-fashioned parent who believes that “children should be seen and not heard.”

Accepting in your imprint period that you are responsible for how others around you feel. As a result you learn to manipulate people around you into feeling better, so that you can feel safe.

Challenging a figure of authority (such as a parent or teacher) because they are misleading others, and then being berated for having done so. This usually takes place in a public forum, and you are left feeling that the world is against you. You may receive some support from the fringes, but still feel predominantly alone and powerless.

Feeling like a constant underdog or a black sheep for saying what’s right and wrong, and standing up for people who are being bullied.

Part of a series with @itsme-isfp

Type Description:

“INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.”

Tumblr:

Smol idealist that dreams about the entire world being a lovely garden where unicorns exist and everyone lives in peace with one another.  Everyone’s sympathetic supporter who wants a deep connection with people and who wants to make a positive impact on society. Basically all good, all innocent, all imagination. HUFFLEPUFF

Reality:

Part of a series with @itsme-isfp

Type Description:

“INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.”

Tumblr:

Smol idealist that dreams about the entire world being a lovely garden where unicorns exist and everyone lives in peace with one another.  Everyone’s sympathetic supporter who wants a deep connection with people and who wants to make a positive impact on society. Basically all good, all innocent, all imagination. HUFFLEPUFF

Reality:

@teens and kids that are being bullied for speaking out:

each one of you is my hero.

i see you. i hear you. i’m standing with you.

“And if they make good on their threats? Take the three-day suspension, and while you’re sitting at home thinking about how naughty you’ve been, call the ACLU. Those civil rights lawyers love shit like this! And if you’re worried about getting into college, write your college entrance essay about why you walked out and what it taught you. Godless liberal academia loves shit like that!

“Compassion —the caring instinct— is located down in the center of the brain, near the top of the spinal cord where a lot of our basic instincts are regulated. It’s a very old part of the brain called the periaqueductal gray, which is common to mammals when they take care of their young. So that’s striking: there’s one kind of thing —empathy— that’s really about understanding people (very complicated!) in the frontal lobes. But caring is really old in the nervous system.”x

“More than machinery we need humanity; more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.”x