Victoria Monét - Reach Out
Choreographer: Sean Bankhead
we're not kids anymore.
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Victoria Monét - Reach Out
Choreographer: Sean Bankhead

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Every state in the Galactic Columbian Alliance had its own military academy, but most were hosted off-world. Texas’ Kennedy Colony, on Mars,
Time for a new installment of my sci-fi series, The Last Soldiers! Getting a little heavier on the worldbuilding as we follow identical twins Max and Audrey, who were given over to the army as infants after developing their superpowers, as they celebrate their graduation and deal with their first deployment.
(There is a touch of body horror in this one, as well as a variety of homophobic and transmisogynistic microaggressions and implications in this world. This note serves both as a warning and to establish a baseline for this whole story, because it's not a very nice universe to live in.)
This book draws a throughline from Giselle's defiance of her mother and Hilarion (and also Loys/Albert, who she plays hard to get with) to her defiance of Myrtha and I have never thought about that before and I will be thinking about this now for a long time. What if you were driven mad, utterly changed, you literally die - but there is a piece of you that is always the same, and it is the piece that will not accept what you do not want. you are defiant even after death, even under command of supernatural forces, because you know your worth and you are determined to love your life.
I do like the relationship between Giselle and Bathilde in Giselle. Like - I do suspect that Giselle's forgiveness of Bathilde and suggestion that Albert/Albrecht marry her in the end (as laid out in the original staging anyway, I haven't seen versions that don't draw from this libretto) stems from the idea that Giselle must forgive her man and he must marry some woman because that's what women are there for. I don't think it's intentionally giving these women interiority in any way. (It certainly isn't an actively progressive choice since this ballet is. very very old.)
But nonetheless to a modern audience it is still refreshing to see Bathilde and Giselle interact at the start with genuine affection and curiosity about each others' lives, to see Bathilde so upset on Giselle's behalf, and yes, to see Giselle say "you should marry her, it's ok" to Albert at the end.
NOW. that being said Albert doesn't deserve either of these women and they should have run off together because he's a two-timing asshole with no concept of class divides. Even if Giselle didn't die of despair it could only have ended badly. But Bathilde is a lovely character in my mind.
Josephine Baker, George Hoyningen-Huene, 1929

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The very first picture taken of little baby Milla, one year old, terrifed, skinny, and balding on the back end, vs. a recent photo of my 11 lb Creature who likes to shout at me when I come home too late. Happy 9th birthday to the cat who really does not help at all in my writing and gets grumpy when I dance instead of cuddling! Here's to more years of 3 am headbutts.
Every state in the Galactic Columbian Alliance had its own military academy, but most were hosted off-world. Texas’ Kennedy Colony, on Mars,
Time for a new installment of my sci-fi series, The Last Soldiers! Getting a little heavier on the worldbuilding as we follow identical twins Max and Audrey, who were given over to the army as infants after developing their superpowers, as they celebrate their graduation and deal with their first deployment.
(There is a touch of body horror in this one, as well as a variety of homophobic and transmisogynistic microaggressions and implications in this world. This note serves both as a warning and to establish a baseline for this whole story, because it's not a very nice universe to live in.)
One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.
I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.
It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.
I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.
I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.
Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”
Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.
important
In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."
Architecture of return, escape (The British Museum) 2022 Pigment and acrylic on deer hide, 36 x 55 in. (91.4 x 139.7 cm) Nicholas Galanin Born 1979, Tlingit/Unangax̂
"Galanin’s work engages themes of persistence, power, and survival in the face of settler colonialism and its legacies of institutional racism and collective amnesia. Here, the floor plan of the British Museum is painted over a blue field. Pictograms of baskets, masks, woven hats, weapons, tools, and textiles reference the contested objects held in the museum’s collection, while a red line maps an escape route for these examples of Indigenous cultural production. In many Native cultures, hide paintings relay histories across generations and objects embody lineages; in referencing both, Galanin is proposing a getaway plan for his ancestors."
sci fi is all about getting so scared and ripping tubes out of yourself. people miss this
sci fi is all about desperately trying to reclaim your violated bodily autonomy. it’s all about asserting that you are a being with agency, and you can choose what happens to your own person, even if that’s ripping tubes out of yourself. and also sometimes an alien is there

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Kadeem EnPointe
I don't even go here (ballet), but this dancer came across my feed at random on FB, and I think that if he's looking for the right audience.... well, Tumblr loves a beautiful man doing beautiful dances in beautiful clothes.
He's also selling prints on his website!! Like this one!!
There are a lot more than just this one, but this is one of my favorites. There's also artwork of him in the prints section!
Anyway, enjoy!!
The new wormhole specs had only just come in. Not that Ridley saw the whole thing ever, of course. That math was over their head, and they n
I've talked about the characters, shared little snippets, and now at last the first part of The Last Soldiers is available to read! Come check it out if you like body horror, dystopic futures that seem really familiar, or watching a divorced middle-aged nonbinary person make ill-advised decisions.
Three days to the posting date of the next installment of The Last Soldiers so I am dragging this back into the light! A little snippet to sweeten the pot:
Everything about Dean was always sharp. Sharp cheekbones, sharp wit, sharp smile. He and Ridley had met when Ridley's parents still had money, before the collapse and before Ridley went to trade school, and for all that Ridley had been the rich one Dean had been the one who always dressed nice and knew what to say. Ridley hadn't blended in anywhere until their first blue-collar job, where nobody minded a bit of gruffness or the moments Ridley couldn't muster any words. Dean blended in everywhere, and never ran out of things to say. “Hey,” Ridley said to him as they sat up. Their skin itched, as though ants were crawling endlessly across them. They folded their hands in their lap so they wouldn't embarrass themself by scratching. Dean set his briefcase down on the chair and stuck his hands in his pockets, the only thing that could ruin the line of his old-fashioned tailored suit. “Where's Sarah?” Ridley asked, resisting the urge to crane their neck and look. “She has school today,” Dean said. He looked Ridley up and down, concern creasing the space between his neat, pale eyebrows. His eyes were blue, and Ridley found themself training their own eyes on Dean's forehead. They didn’t like seeing things that were that piercing a blue. “You could have brought her by after school,” Ridley said. They knew better than to suggest Sarah could have skipped, even to see her parent in the hospital. “Save you a trip.” “I don't like bringing her places like this,” Dean said. “Is it the sickness and death, or how cheap it is?” Ridley said acidly. The itch at their shoulderblade had deepened to a burn. Dean frowned at them. “I wanted to see how you're doing,” he said. Sharply, of course.
can you curry anything else or is it just favor
So "currying" a furry animal means grooming or brushing it with a currycomb, which in turn comes from the Old French correier meaning "to prepare [something]", because you prepare a horse for riding by brushing it; it's most commonly applied to horses but you can get e.g. currycombs for dogs.
If I understand correctly, medieval French folk tales considered chestnut-colored horses to be deceitful and tricky; the Old French word for a chestnut or dun horse was fauvel, and so the Old French expression correier fauvel, literally "to brush the chestnut horse", meant lying or being hypocritical for personal gain. This turned into "curry favel" in 15th-century English, and then mutated into "curry favor" over the next few centuries as people forgot about the horse.
So "currying favor" is really "brushing the Horse of Lies", and the reason you can't curry goodwill, or love, or hatred, or even disfavor is that we didn't have Horses for those.
And it follows that we can gain the ability to curry other things by assigning them to Horses.
#google is backing you up on this (via @oldguardians)
I realize, looking back on this post, that regular readers of my blog may have thought I made this up. Making up a ridiculous etymology is certainly the sort of thing I might do; in fact I've been meaning to start a sideblog dedicated solely to sufficiently accurate etymologies, and have a notebook with dozens of them jotted down, I just haven't had the time to do anything with them.
But I want to stress that this is not one of those cases. This is, to the best of my knowledge, the very real etymology of the phrase "curry favor".
The Old French fauve or falve referred to the light-brown color that's sometimes called "fallow" in modern English, but since it also sounded similar to faux, meaning "false", it was also associated with deceit and trickery ; the idiom estriller Fauvel literally meant "to groom the fallow one" but idiomatically meant "to lie or trick people".
Then in the 1300s we get the French poem Roman de Fauvel, a satirical poem about a fauve horse, whose name is derived both from the color and from the fact that FAVVEL is an acronym of Flaterie, Avarice, Vilanie, Varieté, Envie, Lascheté (Flattery, Greed, Vileness, Fickleness, Envy, and Cowardice) - all the different vices that this horse embodies.
Fauvel (purportedly modeled after Enguerrand de Marigny [source], an advisor to King Philip IV) is a sinful, conniving, and very rich horse who has various religious and secular leaders fawning over him and brushing him; it was well-known enough that "grooming Fauvel" came to mean "sucking up to someone powerful" more than just "being evil", and when it was translated into English the grooming was translated as currying, which specifically is grooming a horse with a curry comb [wiktionary]. From this we got the Middle English expression "currying Fauvel", which then mutated via folk etymology (in the "reinterpretation of unfamiliar words as more familiar ones" sense, not the "people are wrong about etymology" sense) into "currying favor".
Curry favor in:
Wiktionary: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/curry_favor
Merriam-Webster: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/curry%20favor
Etymonline: https://www.etymonline.com/word/curry
Instead of apologizing for liking "trashy" media, consider: what is it doing well? If you like it, if it's making you feel pleasure and interest, then it must be succeeding at something. Is it shaping a set of emotional beats that you find satisfying to watch play out? Did it craft a character you find really compelling? Is something in the styling and aesthetics speaking to you? Did it unexpectedly resonate with a mood or experience you needed to see reflected right then?
However shallow or flawed a piece of media is, if you like it, it's because of something it did well - at least well enough to affect you, on the day that you encountered it.
There are a lot of good reasons to acknowledge this. One is about gratitude and manners: someone worked hard on that thing, and if they provided something that gave you happiness and pleasure, it's nice to honor that. Another is about breaking down the insidious habit of sorting everything into simple good/bad boxes. A piece of media, like a person, can do a lot of things wrong and a lot of things right, and the things on one side do not magically erase the other.
But the most important reason, I believe, is to get in the habit of celebrating what brings you pleasure and happiness. All your life there have been and there will be people telling you that you find joy in the wrong things, that if a particular thing makes you feel good it shows that there's something wrong with you. I reject that utterly. If a particular thing makes you feel good then there's something right, about you and about that thing. I'm not saying that pleasure is the only important thing or that every pleasure should be indulged indiscriminately. All I'm saying is that pleasure is in and of itself a good thing, and deserves notice.
people get so mad when you tell them that their lowbrow entertainment they enjoy is actually lowbrow
everyone wants their self-indulgent romantasy to be considered high literature and whatever new mainstream pop boy/girl to be treated as the next beethoven and their gay fluff show on streaming apps to be revolutionary art changing the world and like, they're not. and that's okay. i'm literally watching the stupidest show right now and it's fine. it doesn't have to be more.
there's also the argument of how pop culture used to be the trickle down from high culture for the longest time but now it's an ouroboros eating itself as access and willingness to engage with high culture have been systematically destroyed and diminished through the last decades so your popcorn flick moviemaker now only gets inspiration from other popcorn flicks when their foreparents used to actually read literally and see art of all kinds and your pop musicians used to listen to all sorts of new and old music rather than just their contemporaries/competition and maybe this absence of any sort of culture outside of our easy algorithms is why everyone's so defensive of what they passively consume and so attached to it as a part of their identity but that's a discussion for another day

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I feel like when I say ‘relatable’ what I really mean is ‘resonant.’ I don’t want characters who I feel are like me, I want characters who have emotions so strong I can feel them through the page.
I think this is important because a lot of us forget the power of stories to make us feel things about characters who are not like us, who have experienced things that we never will. The purpose of listening to someone else's story should not necessarily be identification, but understanding.
“Musk talks about Mars as a lifeboat for humanity, which is among the very stupidest things that someone could say,” says Adam Becker, an astrophysicist and author of the book More Everything Forever, which outlines the messianic, sci-fi fantasies of the tech oligarchs. “There are so many reasons why it’s such a bad idea, and this is not about, ‘Oh, we’ll never have the technology to live on Mars.’ That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that Earth is always going to be a better option no matter what happens to Earth. Like, we could get hit with an asteroid the size of the one that killed off the dinosaurs, and Earth would still be more habitable. We could explode every single nuclear weapon, and Earth would still be more habitable. We could have the worst-case scenario for climate change, and Earth would still be more habitable. Any cursory examination of any of the facts about Mars makes it very clear.”
What You’ve Suspected Is True: Billionaires Are Not Like Us
I really like sci-fi stories where people have to go off and terraform a planet, or figure out how to rebuild civilization after some disaster, or ideally both. "The last ark-ship leaving Earth right before it becomes uninhabitable" sort of deal. But lately I've been coming around to this same idea, that it will always be more practical to try to save Earth than to try to start over elsewhere.
I was reading one story where the apocalypse was impossibly-rising oceans. Like, water is appearing from *waves hand* the Earth's crust or something, and literally all dry surface land on Earth is going to become underwater in X years. Part of the story was about a giant research project to invent FTL to send a few hundred humans to a nearby star which might have a habitable planet. You know what they were hoping to find? A planet with liquid water. Their plan was to descend from their starship and restart civilization using just the tools they brought with them, on a world with no life and no breathable air and the wrong gravity and the wrong temperate and the wrong sunlight and the wrong day-night cycle, just because it had liquid water. You know where else has liquid water? The flooded Earth you just abandoned. Instead of researching starship technology, you could have spent that time loading up all the same civilization-restarter tools into boats.
And this is really true of any futuristic apocalypse scenario. If you can terraform Mars to have a thick oxygen atmosphere, why not just do that to Earth? Even if you smash an ice comet into Earth and destroy basically everything, Earth will still be more habitable than Mars! It'll still have roughly the right atmospheric pressure, and magnetic field, and heat balance, and it'll still have whatever life the comet didn't kill... Same with a starshade to cool Venus. Same with excavating asteroids into city-stations. Same with abandoning Sol System entirely and heading to another star. If an ark-ship arrived in a new star system and found Earth-but-choked-by-climate-change, the crew would be ecstatic. They would never have thought to get that lucky. So why bother with the trip? Just stay and fix the damn Earth.