I am gonna make it through this year if it kills m

Well, well, well. We meet again, blogyear blog. 

I stopped posting on this blog a while ago for reasons that most of you probably know, but seeing you guys's lovely midway-through-the-year posts made me happy and I thought I'd contribute.

So. These past six months have been a doozy. I've learned so much about myself and the people around me. I've lost friends and realized my life is better for it and I've met new people who I've learned a lot about life from. Through it all, you guys have been there for me, and I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. Even though we're scattered around the globe, none of you have ever been too busy to encourage me or offer me advice when I needed it. And I'll never forget that.

This year started pretty fabulously, since I spent the first few days of it chilling with Laura at my house giving and receiving amazing presents and watching cool artsy movies. Throughout the year, I've gotten to travel all over the place and, in all, meet seven of you. SEVEN. That's insane. I got to see the best concert of my life with Liza, Caroline and Emily ( I don't think my excitement levels have EVER been that high as they were in the Ryman that night). I got to spend afternoons with Salma, Manar, and Angela, doing things from touring my future college campus to hanging out in a coffeeshop to watching a silly movie about Legos. Those experiences, whether they were low-key or, y'know, NICKEL CREEK, were all incredibly special in their own way. They're memories that I've held really close to my heart. 

So besides that, I graduated high school this year. And got accepted to college. And got a full tuition scholarship. I still can't quite believe that everything fell into place the way it did. This time last year I thought I'd be at some expensive art school in NYC or California, racking up debt but living the dream. It hasn't quite worked out that way. I've realized that sometimes you have to give up some of your crazier dreams for what's actually going to work for you. While I resented it for a while, I've come to learn that God's shaped my path in a way that's much, much better than the plan I had in store. And it doesn't feel like a compromise anymore. I'm going to get study what I'm passionate about without ending up in a horrible financial situation in a city that, while it isn't New York, is still pretty fantastic. Best of all, I'm staying relatively close to home. Just a few hours away from my family, which both they and I are happy about (even if it took a while for me to stop immaturely wanting to get as far away from them as possible.)

The other reason I'm excited about choosing Nashville is because I'm going to be living very close to my sister Kelly. Kelly and I have had a pretty rough relationship for the past five years. And it's been super, super hard feeling like I had a sister.... but not really (another reason I've been so grateful for you guys over the past year and a half). However, the past month has changed that so much. I spent a week in June at a lodge with my sister and 30 other people- students, families, teachers- from her community. It opened my eyes so much to who she really is, what she stands for, and what she's devoted her life to. And it was truly amazing. Through a lot of talking, crying, laughing, and praying, Kelly and I finally started to bridge the gap that's formed over the past five years. Our relationship is far from whole, but we're getting there. And by the grace of God, we get to /keep/ getting there, because when I move, I'll get to see her MUCH MUCH more often. And continue getting to know the person she's become.

Alright hopefully that's all of the heavy stuff. Other cool things that have happened to me this year: I got a illustration commission from TivaWater (http://www.ordertivawater.com/) which has been immensely gratifying and challenging to complete. It's been an actual, real-life business experience, and it's been fantastic. I had the crazy experience of writing, producing, and starring in a musical- all within 48 hours. I attempted VEDA, which, while I didn't end up finishing it, was still a super fun and instructive experience (still haven't forgiven myself for losing the nashville footage). I went to prom and felt prettier than I have in my entire life (lbr i felt hot. like did u see those side cutouts). I've gotten to hang out with my stupidly amazing friends and watch way too much tv and look at the stars and make art and walk on the beach at night and learn new music and basically just have a really kickass senior spring and summer so far. 

These next few months are going to be SO eventful and I'm so excited to start the next chapter of my life. I look forward to sharing it with you guys. Just, you know, probably on twitter most of the time rather than this blog ;) 

i’ve taken one language class- spanish 1 in sophomore year. currently i’m in spanish 2. i’ve also been learning french on this website called duolingo.com. it’s a really really good website. it helps with pretty much everything- pronunciation, spelling, grammar, vocabulary. it’s pretty great. 

this is my contribution to doglover199709 appreciation day. 

blogyear day thirtysomething: i think the topic was pets oops

1. The Bone Season- Samantha Shannon

I finished this book a few days ago and yall it is so good. It’s a pretty interesting concept- a society in which some people have clairvoyance, an ability to communicate with the aether, or spirit realm. However, clairvoyance is illegal, and voyants are treated as criminals. The main character, Paige is clairvoyant, and is a protege of this voyant gang leader type guy. Basically there’s just LOTS of action and supernatural powers and stuff it’s awesome.

2.-10.  NICKEL CREEK

YEAH SO NICKEL CREEK IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER AND MAKING A NEW ALBUM AND TOURING AGAIN SO THAT’S ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK

AND LIZA AND CAROLINE AND EMILY MIGHT COME TO THE CONCERT IN NASHVILLE WHICH WOULD BE A++++++++++++++

seriously guys what am i supposed to write about kangaroos 

um

yeah i got nothing

sorry. let's talk about how terrible the broncos are like i don't know anything about football but like they haven't scored ANY points what is going onnnnn 

day 29: talk about oprah

one time my pastor called oprah the antichrist??? idk man i've never watched oprah i don't really have an opinion but she's great according to josh nickels

day 30: talk about canada

canada seems pretty great except it's cold there and i'm not down for that. idk my friend's girlfriend chelsea is from canada and she's super cool and has like 20,000 twitter follower so yay for her. she doesn't really like canada though she likes tennessee more. so um. yeah. canada.

day 31: sibling day

yesss finally one i can do properly. 

 alright so i have two siblings, kelly and brian. kelly is 22 and studying at the institute to global outreach development, int'l (yes that's a stupid long name for a school) to become a missionary. she plans to move to india permanently within the next few years. we haven't really gotten along well since she moved out. i don't know why, but whenever she comes home we just always get into arguments. she's a very different person that she was when she lived here. it's hard to reconcile myself to that. like, the sister i have now is not at all the person i grew up with. we don't really talk that much. i don't know how to fix that relationship. and it's not just me. she's kinda isolated herself from our whole family. so yeah, that sucks.

now onto brian. he's 24 and living at home and working at a restaurant. he did have a job in colorado but got into some trouble and had to come home. so he's been living in our basement. i never really got to know brian /that/ well, cause he graduated when i was 11. now he's back home, but i still never really see him. he mostly keeps to himself. the one thing we do bond over is music. since we were little we've always shared music with one another. so that's nice.

who is that

can i talk about something else? i'm gonna talk about the bone season.

so carrie recommended this book in one of her videos and i just started reading it and so far it's fantastic yall should read it too. okay honestly i just really want to continue reading it so i'm gonna do that now sorry this was a crap post. 

so because emily made me remember this i'm gonna talk about my favorite parts of a couple musicals. as much i love all the regular songs in phantom and les mis (cause duh they're fab) there are a few really really fantastic bits of music that i think get overlooked most of the time that i absolutely ADORE.

okay so first, in phantom, before christine goes on in don juan triumphant, she she has this gorgeous little bit called twisted every way and i literally cannot tell you how much i love it. like there are just so many emotions she's struggling with  (yeah emmy's voice definitely isn't the best during this song but whatever it's still a beautiful piece with beautiful emotion)

then also there's the 'why have you brought me here/raoul i've been there' bit, which is just insanely good. at first i was just gonna link to the 'raoul i've been there' part but then i rewatched it and yeah the whole thing is just awesome. like their voices are just so urgent and the duet is all off kilter and damn it's so good. and tHEN she goes into the "but his voice filled my spirit with a strange sweet sound" and her voice is so pure and gorgeous and THAT HIGH NOTE IS PERFECT and yep i i'm in love with this song

okay so there's also wandering child and i just can't deal with how perfect their voices are together 

alright sorry last phantom one- just those two lines  christine sings in don juan are really pretty and her voice just soars it's great

alright now les mis time

so this is just so emotional and the freaking soldier and aaron tveit's voices are so ridiculously powerful

i'm getting less coherent sorry music does that to me

then everyday (holla emily) is just a gorgeous melody (even if i hate amanda's voice oops) yeah it's just really pretty idk what else to say about it

also basically any time eponine sings ever is great

hmmm is there anything else i can think of OH YEAH so in Once there's this crazy amazing trio with Reza, the Girl, and some other chick and their voices are all dissonant and intense except i can't find the song anywhere on the internet so i'm thinking that i made it up idk laura help me out here you know it was that transition part where the three girls did that cool violin dance and idk there were intense harmonies am i crazy?? whatever maybe i dreamed it

okay while we're at it i'm just gonna put some other short, possibly overlooked songs that i really like 

one jump ahead reprise

go the distance reprise

belle reprise

part of your world ..... reprise yeah okay i've got a thing for disney reprises shut up

also you know how they always used to have those reprises at the end of disney movies with the big choruses? those are also GREAT idk i just love the huge choral sound it's just so nice

okay since it's 1:30 i'm gonna wish caroline a happy half birthday and do a free day tomorrow/today.