Not Spells from a Spellbook

To be Frank: a creature that changes people’s names to Frank

Item: Banana Boots; -5 Friction on any terrain. While dangerous for the untrained, someone with high enough Dexterity can use them to pull some intricate footwork maneuvers.

be the wizard you wish to see airbrushed on the side of van

Item: Jingsuit (Jeans Wingsuit); does not allow full Jlight (Jeans Flight) but does allow for Jiding (Jeans Gliding) from heights

casting spell of : i dont think that's true

you have to remember that people will simply say all kinds of things

Ice Demons wielding weapons made of frozen mercury.  Spearheads that break off & melt inside the target.  Swords that leave tiny bits of melted mercury inside the wound (the swords re-freeze to razor sharpness while in the ice demon’s claws).

Item: blades, spears, and/or arrowheads made of mercury frozen by Ice Magic; can only be used by one with Ice Magic, but deliver whatever damage the weapon type would normally make plus equal amounts of Cold and 1d8 Poison. Once the wound has been delivered, it continues to deliver 1d8 Poison until the mercury has been removed by healing magic, Wish, &c.

Apparently I’ve seen this before? But this EXACTLY matches the description of the Morgul blade in LOTR? It felt like “a dart of poisoned ice” (or something like that), it left a piece in Frodo’s shoulder that slowly poisoned him, and the blade melted away when Aragorn looked at it. And Glorfindel warned them all to handle it as little as possible, too!

Item: Tunic of the Dancing Frog; allows the wearer to summon dancing frogs at will. Each frog does a little song and dance number and then disappears.

Slutty wizard. Whorelock, if you will

Superwhorelock

I've always thought it's too bad that disco is the only kind of dance that comes with an artifact. It's compelling that disco has a Ball. I want to know what secrets will be revealed if I gaze into it. There should be a hip-hop Cube. A ballroom Amulet. A swing Diadem.

Item: horse repellent incense

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

Roll a wisdom save to not be consumed by melon luxury

i could be so powerful if i had more patience to animate……