i am gay. i am broke as shit.

I go to the barber, I say "my son would like a haircut", they do not question me about whether he is my son on either point. This has worked perfectly so far. You just don't give anyone a reason to question you? If I say he is my son it is so unbelievably rude for someone else to go "um are you sure?".

But yesterday the barbers apprentice looked at him and asked if he is getting a woman's cut, and instead of arcing up and explaining trans theory and respect for kiddos gender to someone who I knew heard me the first time and had clocked him, I just channeled the spirit of a Christian Mother In The Toy Aisle and said "well, he is a boy so no, he will have a boys cut".

There will also be times when you need to pre-qualify a situation, and that's ok, too.

When my eldest daughter started her transition at 30, she asked about bra shopping. I did, in fact, call the shops that I thought might be good to go to for a proper fitting. What I said on the phone was, "My adult daughter has reached a point in her transition where she needs a bra. Is there someone on your staff that would feel comfortable assisting us?"

I'm delighted to report that at Victoria's Secret, the answer I got was a very chipper "Oh, yes Ma'am! *ANY* member of our staff would be TOTALLY comfortable helping you!" And they were!

The other day I was surfing the internet and I found this specialized painting colour wheel, it shows how real paint colours relate to each other. 

Outside: the purest/brightest colours.

Inside: naturally muted or earthy colors, like browns and ochres.

The Center: dark neutral tones used for mixing shadows.

The Lines: the lines connect colors that are opposites, if you mix them you neutralize the tone creating clean grays or browns instead of muddy puddles.

I want to share this with you because I think it is really illustrative!