history repeats

Why does nowhere sell just milk? Why does always have to have tea or coffee in it? Can’t a guy just enjoy a nice glass of milk anymore?

No, I’ve never rescued a cat from a tree. 

I’m not asking if you have, I’m asking if you can. My cat’s stuck and climbing the tree myself isn’t something I feel like doing.

“God, I am having the worst case of chub rub right now. Literally my thighs are on fire. And all in the name of beauty, which I’m not sure is even worth it anymore. I should’ve showed up in a jumpsuit like that girl over there, she’s got brains.”

“Chub-... What? What’s- Your thighs? Okay, I’m really not sure of what’s going on here, but are you okay? Do you need... ice... or something?”

“That was a test to see if you were lying. Good job, you passed.” 

“You were testing me to see if I was lying about not hearing you?”

“If you were a random person, I wouldn’t be asking you to turn your head. I’d be creepily staring at you from a distance.” She noted, before lifting her head. “Besides, if you were a random person, I wouldn’t be paying you in food.” 

“I don’t care what you say. This is creepy.” Leo’s brow furrowed as he reached for a fry on his plate. “Frankly, the only reason I’m letting you do this is the free food.”

“Have you ever stopped to think for a second that maybe you’re the problem here? I’m speaking correctly, you’re just not listening. Maybe it would help if you pulled your head out of your ass.”

“And now you sound like my mother. More sass and the use of a mild curse word, but it’s like I can actually feel her disapproval.”

“Sorry I was just on the phone but even then I tend to speak quite fast. But no it wasn’t aimed towards you so don’t worry you didn’t miss out on anything important.”

“Right. Yeah, whatever. Go back to your phone call then. Wouldn’t want to keep you from anything not important.”

“Wow– I haven’t had someone make fun of my accent for years now. Clearly, you’re aware that some people can’t be all proper Englishmen?”

“Your accent has nothing to do with mumbling. I’m not exactly without one myself, but at least I talk at an octave loud enough to hear.”

“With your attitude, I’d rather keep my words to myself.”

“Win-win for us both then.”

“Excuse me? I was just trying to give your wallet back, but if I would’ve known that you were such a dick, I would’ve let someone steal it. Respect your elders, kid.”

“Wow, okay. You know that no one is ever going to respect anyone when they’re told to, right? It’s not my problem that you can’t speak clearly.”

“Alright, gotcha. I can see how I could ‘a been a little hard to hear. I said: Move, kid. But now since I gotta second chance, I think I’m gonna say: Move, brat.”

Leo’s jaw tightened and his hands clenched in and out of fists at his side. “I don’t exactly see how I’m in your way. You know, it is possible to move round a person. I mean, it’s a few extra steps, but I’m sure your hip can manage it without causing you too much discomfort.”

“I said, Y o u  l o o k  h o t  i n  t h o s e  p a n t s,” Charlie said, drawing out his words. Then he grinned. “Was that enunciated enough for you?”

“...Yeah, okay. I have places to be.” Leo awkwardly pointed off in some other direction. Whenever the conversation took this kind of turn he never really knew what to do or say.

“I was trying to ask you if you’d turn your head to the left. When I asked you to sit to draw a profile, I actually meant a profile.” 

“Seriously, why am I doing this again?” Leo rolled his eyes and turned his head again. “Do you always decide to draw random people like this?”

Whoa, just take it easy, man. I was talking to myself more, I do that sometimes, but it’s good to know you were eavesdropping. Hear anything that caught your interest? My mind’s a crazy place.

Right... Yeah, no. Like I said, didn’t catch a word of it.

Because, honestly, I didn’t catch a word of that. Maybe if you didn’t mumble? Enunciate. Seriously, it really helps with this little thing called communication.