Dazzle Me

“Oh my god, yes puppy play date on the beach, tomorrow. This is happening!” 

“I don’t have to go into the office tomorrow anyway so consider it official. What time were you thinking?”

It was at moment when the man started talking again that Calum completely zoned out. Thoughts of what to make for dinner ran through his head. He could make spaghetti, but then he had that twice this week. Maybe, bbq chicken? No, chicken Alfredo. Oh, look that man was still talking. Reaching up, Calum cover the man’s mouth, bringing up a finger from his other hand to signal to the man to be quiet.

99% of the time, Sam had no clue what the fuck was going on at the rag, today was no different. He looked at the man in confusion as the hand covered his mouth but understood the hint, immediately shutting himself up. Carefully, he removed the hand from his mouth, holding his hands up as a sign of defeat afterwards. “Okay, okay you made yourself clear I’ll shut up.”

“I see we’re not yet laughing about that little incident…” 

“I’m afraid not.” he replied icily. “And I wouldn’t get your hopes up because I don’t think we ever will.”

“Well… I guess it’s time to fire them then? I mean, they shouldn’t have applied for a job they weren’t able to do. Especially, when there are other people out there who need jobs more.” 

“Yeah... I’ve been weighing my options.” on the one hand, the absence of the interns around his office sounded deligthful really but on the other, firing them after their first day just seemed cruel. “I think I might give them one more shot but I’m not sure yet.”

“What? Oh my God, did you think I meant like, offing them?” Kaya asked before letting out a loud laugh. “Oh God, no, I mean like, just get it over and done with. Oh man, you’ve really tickled me.”

Sam let out a nervous laugh. “Oh god I am so sorry that must have sounded so ridiculous.” he scratched the back of his head awkwkardly. “Sorry I’m running low on sleep lately, my brain isn’t fully cooperating like it should.”

Calum stared at the man. It was obvious that the man was complaining about something, to which he did not care enough to put in the effort to lip read, something that took too much energy and concentration. So his response, a mere shrug, hoping that would satisfy the man.

Sam seemed to be completely oblivous to the fact that not only the other couldn’t hear him but that on top of that, he cared very little about understanding what he had to say in the first place. “I mean, it’s not a difficult job right? How hard can it be?” he complained. “Is it really that hard to keep the administration in order?”

“So like data entering?” That didn’t seem hard at all, time consuming, maybe. But if you had the basic understanding of a computer, which he assumed most people had, then nerves or not it should be simple. “Doesn’t seem too bad. Not like you are taking apart the computer and switching out components.”

“Yes, a simple as it get’s. Copying files, sorting them, preparing invoices, receiving orders, the very basics of a secretary job really.” he confirmed with a light sigh. “In general we don’t do a lot of taking computer apart around the office but they don’t even need any coding skills or anything yet, hell they don’t even have to be an IT major to know this stuff. You don’t need a fancy degree to know how to work a mailbox and excel.”

“Well… why’d you hire him if he was so hopeless? I mean, what, didn’t you like interview him or anything?” 

“Of course I interviewed them before hiring. Unforunately they both seem to be better talkers than skillfull IT majors.”

“Last time it was a microwave, now it’s some poor college intern… you’re life is kind’ve a shit show, isn’t it?”

“And somewhere inbetween all that you beat up my daughter and my fiancé got falsely accused of a crime and deported to France so yes, I’m afraid you’re right.”

“Yeah he’s a little german shepherd named Cheddar. Lu’s gonna help me train him to be a guard dog, but right now i’m just trying to stop him from peeing on my carpet.” 

“You should bring him with you when you come over, let him play with Otis for a bit. I’m sure they’d both love it.” he suggested. “And if you ever need any pointers on how to raise a bratty puppy just ask okay?”

“I think it’s unfair to you, if anything. Like, if they have no use, what’s the point, you know? Just put them outta their misery.”

“Put them out of their misery...” he repeated warily. “I’m starting to sense that we are not entirely on the same page here.”

“I’m sure it was just nerves,” he said again, choosing not to clarify that it was that he didn’t want to go to school, he just didn’t have the money, nor time. There was also the fact that he dropped out of high school. “What kind of job is it? You mentioned a computer so I’m assuming something along those lines.”

Whether the kids had been nervous or not really wasn’t much of a concern of Sam’s, all that mattered was that they were slowing work around the office down even more which was the last thing he needed. “I own a small web design company downtown but the position itself is mainly a lot of admistration that I haven’t been able to get around to myself.” 

“They cause you that much stress, huh? Maybe you should just get rid of them.”

“After the first day? Wouldn’t that just be cruel?” he asked, yet giving the idea some serious thought. “I don’t know... maybe I’ll give them a few more days before kicking them to the curb.”

“Computers are too advanced for me, I’ll stick to my Nokia.” Kaya claimed. “Oh, human stupidity is my favourite. You gotta admit, it may be annoying, but it’s such great entertainment.”

He shook his head with a sigh. “Can’t say I find it all that amusing in all honesty.” Sam replied bitterly. “Right now they are more a bother than anything else and I really don’t have the time for it.”

“Like iPads? iPods? iWatches? Those hoverboard things? Man, technology never fails to amaze me.”

“I was more hoping computers or something alike but sure. Technology isn’t all that amazing believe me, human stupidity ,however, manages to baffle me every time single time.”

“I wouldn’t know, I never went,” he shrugged, blowing smoke out the of the corner of his mouth away from the man. “Perhaps they were nervous?”

“Well judging by their skills you didn’t miss out on much.” he groaned tiredly. “Whatever got into them today, I hope they shake it off by tommorrow because I don’t have the time to cean up after them. They were supposed to decrease the amount of work I have, not double it.”

“For you, I can be free as a bird this saturday.” She said with a cheerful smile, suddenly glad that Viv had offered her a night off. “A new man? No not quite… Sorry that was misleading, it’s just, well Lucien got me a puppy.” 

“Great! Saturday it is!” Sam’s entire face lit up as she mentioned she could do upcomming Saturday. Before everything had gone to hell, Brie had been over at any given convenient moment and he found himsel yearning for that sense of familarity. “A puppy? Oh thank god, that saves me a lot of sleepless nights.”