all i do is think about bartylus

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@nothelena21
all i do is think about bartylus

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Evan fucking James with his head pushed into the pillow and his glasses crooked and foggy, brought to tears from how abused his prostate was.
slightly nsfw
I need sunrose to be gym bros, I need them to be each others gym crush but them pretending to be gym bros. I need them to spot each other while being a bit too handsy. I need them to make 'oh I could be your cardio for today *wink*' jokes and I NEED the to fuck either in the lockers or on the bench press...
nsfw
I need Evan to be the first one to get James to bottom. I need Evan to talk him through it, pressing and probing around on his body. I need him to be the first to ever stimulate James' prostate and stretch his hole and show him how much of the wonders of his body he's been missing out on.
james: i can fix him
evan: there is actually nothing wrong with me. i’ve assessed the situation thoroughly.
james: you literally kill people
evan: and I’m totally fine with that. it’s you that’s got a problem with it.

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Things that Barty would (probably) give Regulus for his birthday.
1- Books... especially one whose title is: "how to learn to swim in three simple steps"
2- Marijuana.
3- A box of sour sweets.
4- A replica of a human heart.
5- Brand clothing.
6- A bottle of whiskey.
7- A calendar with photographs of both of them in various places (one of those places is the bed and they are semi naked).
8- An origami figure (yes, it's obviously a cat).
9- A "voucher for... (Hopefully it's sex, Regulus Arcturus Black)".
10- "Do you remember that time a man stopped us to sell us a star...?"
—You can't buy a star, Barty. They're literally collections of gases millions of light years away.
—And?
—I could never reach them, nor settle there... duh
—Well... what about a piece of the moon?
—That's going to be a little difficult —Sirius joins the conversation.
—Why do you say that? —Barty and Regulus question.
—Because I bought the moon for Remus...
Everyone knows that Sirius was the outgoing of the two brothers, he was always moving and causing chaos while Regulus was more quiet rather keep to himself and his studies. You would think this means Sirius would be the guy dancing on tables while drunk while Regulus is barely sipping on his own drink in the corner.
Actually, you would be wrong.
Sirius when drunk doesn't want to move much, he is flushed and a wobbly mess clinging onto Remus the whole time. Regulus on the other hand forgets himself while drunk, dancing with Barty maybe making out who cares, that's sober Regulus's problem.
Regulus dating older men to satiate his need for older male validation due to the crippling daddy issues Orion left him with only to find his true love in Barty, a boy who's nearly a year younger than him and looks to please Regulus every way possible instead
If we followed the canon, most Bartylus stories would have this premise ✨
i love Barty who thinks from 12pm till noon and Barty who is an academic weapon an equal amount
barty likes to get regulus justtt high enough he ends up being a little spacey and then fucking him. he likes how much easier it is to get reg to beg for him and be loud and not worry so much or be ashamed of himself for enjoying himself
barty also ends up overstimulating him most times when they do this because he can’t help himself when he has regulus spread open beneath him, all dazed and desperate, needy for barty and all that he could possibly give him, just begging so readily to be given anything

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What is the name of the ship between Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene?
wolfstar spiderman au
I don't know who the main image belongs to.
I saw it on another profile and wanted to try it.
-In a London café-
Bartender: -poker face-
Sirius: I'll pay, Moony.
Remus: No, I'll pay.
Sirius: You can pay next time.
Remus: I insist, I'll pay this time.
Bartender: -exhausted, takes one of the cards the two boys are holding out to him: it's Remus's card-.
Card Reader: Card declined!
Remus: Shit.
Sirius: Ha! I'll do it.
Bartender: -gives the card back to its owner and takes the remaining card, Sirius's card-.
Card Reader: Card declined!
Sirius: ...shit
Remus doesn't have much money. Sirius also has little money at a specific point in his life (he was disowned, he's uncomfortable receiving an allowance from the Potters, and his uncle Alphard hasn't yet bequeathed him his fortune). So that's the context for this post... that and the image below that I used as inspiration.
Regulus: God, here they come again.
Barty: I hate them so much.
Regulus: Especially James Potter.
Barty: His air of superiority is suffocating.
Regulus: I feel like I'm going to throw up every time I hear him speak.
Barty: Can we talk about his immaturity? I mean, you're eighteen, behave yourself.
Regulus: And he's such a "Padfoot, let's play a prank" kind of guy. Ugh.
-James approaches, grinning like a champ; holding a piece of cloth in one hand-.
James: Hey, Rosier. You forgot your spare tie last night.
Evan: ...you shouldn't have worried...
James: I would have worn it, but you know, we'd attract attention and we don't want that.
Evan: ...right, I understand. Thanks.
James: See you soon?
Evan: Yeah, see you soon.
-James leaves, leaving the three Slytherins alone again-
Barty: He's not thinking straight.
Regulus: No, obviously not. Do you really like this one, Evan?
Evan: -sighs- Yes.
Headcanon #1: Barty and Regulus are critical bitches and have trouble keeping their mouths shut.
Headcanon #2: Obviously, James isn't an idiot; in fact, he's known to be quite an intelligent wizard. But he often doesn't understand hints or gets nervous and anxious around people he likes, which leads him to act rashly and foolishly.

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Regulus and Barty in another life:
regulus is so good at sucking cock like give this man a gold medal. Barty never fails to remind him that he was made to take it while he fucks Regulus' mouth.