Notawriter

you just know

the reason i made this post was because i noticed the beginnings of a smile on sirius’ face as he began to be enveloped by the veil. he was smiling. despite the fact that he had died and left harry behind, i believed that he was happy.

it had been fourteen years, at least 4,231 days of those days were in azkaban. and after he escaped, he was on the run and cooped up in his childhood home. a place that he absolutely hated. you better believe that he thought of james every single day. thought of his face, his odd habits, his laugh, the way he cried when he saw lily at the end of aisle on his wedding day. anything that he could remember.

in a desperate attempt to avoid forgetting, he’d run through all the details that he could remember. and then sometime during his third year in that cell, he struggled to remember the sound of his best friend’s voice. the pain that caused him was greater than anything the dementors could ever cause him.

imagine: a bright corridor of doors in the afterlife. each one belonging to a person that is alive. when it comes time for yours to open and you get to walk into the next life, one person already there gets to greet you. imagine sirius’ door opening and james is standing right there in front of him.

“hey, padfoot.”

just imagine that in the place that harry once stood, he saw a man who was nearly identical, just slightly taller with hazel eyes and no scar gracing his forehead. it took him a second to realize that it was a different person, he didn’t quite believe it was really james. and then it dawned on him.

sirius inhaled a sharp breath, because after fourteen years, he was finally hearing james’ voice again. he was finally remembering what it sounded like.

@highly-functioning-hedgehogs​ thanks for the prompt!

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Friday, November 18 1979, Lily & James’ Apartment

“Excellent, thank you,” Lily sighed happily, taking the plastic bags full of Chinese food.

“I did as you asked,” Sirius said, shrugging out of his coat and slinging it on the back of a kitchen chair. “I got you three entrees. And egg rolls. And wontons.”

“I’m here to feast,” said Lily, her lips pursing in the first threads of a smile.

“You know you could have gone out yourself,” Sirius pointed out. “You aren’t actually in hiding,” 

“Yet,” said Lily morosely, rifling through the plastic bags.

“Lils.”

“Look; James is out-“

“Working,” Sirius reminded her.

“I know.”

“And spying.”

“I know.”

“At the Ministry of Magic. Just like his dad.”

“Yeah, and sometimes…” Lily hesitated as she shrugged and threaded her fingers through all the bags to hoist them to the couch where they were set to pig out, table be damned.

“Yeah?” Sirius carefully didn’t look at her.

“Sometimes I think it’s good there’s a war on. That James has another reason for being there.”

“Yeah?”

“He hates it,” she said flatly. “Magical law? It’s paperwork. James hates drudgery like that. He wants to be active.”

“Yes, I know,” said Sirius dryly. “I shared a dormitory with him for seven years. He can’t sit still for five minutes.”

“I’m just glad he didn’t go through all the schooling and all the trouble and all the money to find himself stuck in a career he hates for a man he loved.”

Sirius sank into the cushions and popped open the fried rice in one hand and spicy beef in the other. Lily took his cue and began to cram an eggroll into her cheek.

“Thanks for coming over,” Lily said finally after they had been scarfing food down in companionable, disgusting silence. Lily was easily keeping pace with Sirius, who was a known voracious eater.

“Yeah, well, work hours are flexible,” Sirius grinned.

“Not you too,” sighed Lily.

“It’s just more fun to spy for the Order. I’ve got more uses for Padfoot. I only have to go into R&D three times a week. I pull long shifts, and I can leave to be free to do…other things,” he grinned cheekily, then nudged Lily with his foot. “Not like you are exempt.”

“You can write from home,” Lily said testily. 

“Yeah. Because you’re such a house hag.”

“Shut up. And you know the Order Missions I go on aren’t for spying.”

“True,” Sirius said with his mouth full. “You’re a good dueler.”

“Not as good as you.”

Sirius grinned smugly and changed the subject. “How are the wontons?”

“What wontons?”

“I got-“ Sirius stopped, seeing the angelic smile on Lily’s face. “Damn it,” he frowned. “I wanted one.”

Lily was unrepentant. “Then you should have eaten one earlier. All’s fair in love and war.”

“What?”

“Muggle-ism,” Lily shrugged.

“And how is love?” Sirius asked her shrewdly, taking another enormous bite of the beef, finishing it off, and chucking it back in the bag before popping open the dumplings. Three were already missing, and he frowned at them before he caught Lily’s grin as she sucked duck sauce off her little finger.

“What do you mean?” Lily asked cautiously, avoiding eye contact by peering into the next carton and picking up a plastic fork for the chow mein.

“You know what I mean,” Sirius said smuggling, popping a dumpling in a cheek and immediately hissing through his teeth to vent the steam. “The dirty deed. Riding the broomstick. Chasing the –“

“Stop,” Lily told him severely.

Sirius waited.

She blushed.

“It’s fine,” she lied unconvincingly.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah? And how’s your sex life?” she snapped irritably.

“Excellent,” said Sirius, deftly using chopsticks to pick up and bite another dumpling in half with great relish. “Why do you think I’m so relaxed and breezy and you’re so…”

When you send a novel to an agent or publisher, they normally ask for the first five or ten pages, just so that they can gauge your writing skill. If those pages don’t grab the reader, it won’t sell.

As an editor, I read thousands of stories a year, and it would be difficult to tell you all of the ways that you can go wrong, or all of the things that you can do right. But let’s hit some main points:

1)    From the very first sentence, I want to see that you’re not just a competent writer, but a skillful one. I want to see that you have a way with words, so that I feel as if I’m in the hands of a professional storyteller. That means that I won’t feel confused, and I won’t get tripped up by typos or beginner’s mistakes. Indeed, I want to see that you’re talented right from the first sentence. Half of the editors and agents say that they look for a great voice right out the gate, whether it be the voice of the narrating character or of the author.

2)    I want to know (or at least have some great hints) where and when the story is taking place. It helps if the setting is intriguing and beautifully drawn. Of course, when you bring that setting to life, you should appeal to most of the senses quickly—sight, sound, smell, touch, taste.

3)    I want to know who the protagonist is and I want to see you handling the viewpoint properly. This means that the protagonist moves, has an emotional state, and thinks, so that we aren’t seeing the tale from a camera’s point of view, but from a real person’s. More than that, it is often helpful if the character is likeable or interesting or even both.

4)    In the opening five pages, I must see a hint of an intriguing conflict, one that is already building toward a climax. To get that in quickly, this means that you almost need to start the story in media res.

5)    In my business as a science fiction and fantasy editor, I want to see some novelty—something that tells me that your work is original, that you’re capable of coming up with something new.

Now, that’s my short list. I could go on and suggest that I want to see that you know how to construct a scene, that you can dazzle the reader in subtle ways that most pros know, that you know how to construct a plot, that you tastefully insert the emotional draws your audience is hoping for, that you are a pro at constructing believable dialog—and a dozen other little things.

but then i realized the paper i write on is 8.5 by 11 inches.

so a foot of parchment is the equivalent of like, a page and a half of paper.

they complained SO MUCH about essays that were like

a page and a half

wtf guys

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“Dance with me.”

“Trust me.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

Maybe some time around the age of 16 Remus’s transformations stop leaving him weak and hollow

In fact, they start to have the opposite effect 

Not that Remus notices; as usual his brilliant mind is always quietly occupied

But Sirius notices

Merlin Sirius notices

It starts with his shoulders, he can’t help but eye the way they sit a little broader when Remus stands up straight 

Then it’s his forearms, Sirius can see the tendons stand out a little when Remus lies on the sofa and holds his book above his head. 

After the next full moon, it’s his biceps - they start pushing against his shirt when he leans over his potions essay, and Sirius’s mouth all but drops to the floor

Suddenly it’s hard to be around Remus, literally, without feeling a tightness growing in his trousers

The boys sit opposite each other in the library for hours, an endless pile of homework and exam prep leaving them caught in a dizzying cycle of work, eat, sleep

They all need some relief, but fuck Sirius needs a very specific kind of relief

Exams are so close, and he has to focus, but just a look at Remus could flick a switch in his body

Even his hands, somehow his hands look bigger, stronger

Sirius starts biting down hard on his lip each time his eyes drift to his boyfriend in class, or the library, or the common room (okay, just about everywhere)

But after half a day his bottom lip becomes red and puffy

Instead Sirius finds himself disappearing to the toilets to splash cold water on his face more often than he’d like to admit

When Remus’s arm winds protectively around him as they walk down a busy corridor, he has to bite back a whine

And when Remus strolls out of the shower one morning, a towel slung low around his hips, Sirius just sits and stares 

Because his chest, Christ his chest has transformed

And it was all Sirius could do not to go over there and beg Remus to deal with his painfully hard arousal, right there in front of James and Peter

And when Remus caught him, eyes roving greedily across his bare skin and freshly tousled hair, he just stared right back and winked

Sirius rolled over in bed and bit down so hard on his pillow he could have torn it apart

This day was particularly torturous, and it didn’t help that the summer heat had Remus loosening the top few buttons of his shirt

Or that, in transfiguration, his hand had been resting high on Sirius’s thigh the whole time Frank was explaining petrification. 

Or that, as they walked to the library, Remus slid Sirius’s bag from his shoulder and slung it easily across his own, winding an arm around his waist 

By time they sat down Sirius was almost at breaking point, his frustration had his heart beating overtime and his head cloudy 

He cast his eyes down, trying desperately to ignore his boyfriend’s newly broadened shoulders, or his tight, hard chest

Or the way his arms looked when he stretched out like that, fuck

Sirius’s chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood up, muttering half an excuse about the bathroom 

He didn’t feel connected to his feet as they carried him through the library, eyebrows furrowed and head fuzzy

He didn’t notice Remus until his fingers were locked around his wrists, and his whole body tugged sideways

Sirius’s soft moan of surprise was muffled by Remus’s lips, which collided with his before he could even gather his surroundings

Remus’s hand travelled to Sirius’s neck, his thumb pressing gently into the soft skin, while his other grasped at his hips

Sirius thought his legs would give way at any moment 

Just as abruptly as it began, Remus drew away, focusing his burning eyes on Sirius

“You keep disappearing.” He murmured “And you won’t look at me.”

He pressed a thumb to Sirius’s puffy bottom lip “You’re not telling me something Sirius.”

Again, Remus’s hand slid back to Sirius’s neck, a gentle pressure aiding the fuzzy euphoria Sirius felt at his touch

“Tell me.” He growled. 

When his face blurred back into view, an almost delirious Sirius saw Remus’s expression harden

“I can take it.” He said, lowly

Sirius frowned, still breathless, resisting the urge to buck his hips into Remus’s warm, gorgeous body 

“It’s you.” He murmured, looking down

Suddenly, inexplicably, he felt ashamed

“You’ve changed and I can’t - I can’t cope. It’s not that I didn’t like you before, I love you whatever you - what ever you look like - and you were always gorgeous, but now you’re just, you’re just kind of perfect and it’s just” Remus’s proximity making Sirius almost incoherent.

“…it’s just your shoulders got bigger, and your arms, and I can’t stop, I can’t focus and I know you just want to work and there’s no time for it so I was trying not to bother you but fuck Remus.”

“What?” Remus’s hand tilted Sirius’s chin up, forcing him to meet his confused gaze. 

Sirius shuttered under his boyfriend’s newly bulky frame

“You’re not…” Remus frowned. “I thought you liked someone else.”

Sirius nearly choked. “What?” He spluttered.  

“Remus” He snapped, taking control and pushing himself closer to the boy. “I can’t focus on anything but you. I can’t study, I can’t sleep, I can’t look at you in class without…” Sirius groaned and pushed his hips against Remus, using his hard arousal to illustrate his point. 

Sirius pressed frantic kisses into to the soft skin on Remus’s neck. “And when you came out of the shower today…”

Sirius’s sentence ended in a gasp as his back hit a smooth, cool wall. Remus’s warm mouth was at his neck, his hands pressing down his sides, their bodies flush against each other

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus growled. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”

Sirius only moaned in response as Remus’s thigh found its way between his legs, pressing teasingly against him

“Sirius.” Remus growled again. “Why?”

“You were…busy.” Sirius groaned, feeling Remus grip his chin. 

“Look at me.” Remus ordered, his eyes burning. “I am never too busy for you, Sirius Black.”

Sirius looked at his boyfriend, panting. His hips bucked into Remus, and he tried to connect their lips again, but he felt a strong hand push him back, denying him.

“Now, say it back to me.” Ordered Remus. “I’m never too busy to fuck you, say it back.”

Sirius shuttered, Remus telling him what to do was just, fuck. 

“You’re never too busy to fuck me.” Sirius’s need was turning his voice into a desperate whine, but Remus didn’t move.

His eyes burned into Sirius’s, and his voice was low and threatening. “Next time you need me, you’re going to tell me, okay? You’re going to say: ‘Remus, I need you to fuck me now.’ And I’m then going to fuck you, okay?” 

Sirius’s eyes almost rolled upwards, his whole body was trembling.

“Remus,” Sirius managed to whisper, somewhat calmly. “I need you to fuck me now.”

Sirius shuttered as he felt Remus grip the back of his thighs, easily lifting Sirius up and pressing him against the wall, his legs now hooked around his waist.