not an expert

me when the character's themes are rejection and collecting wolves

to the eridians, he's a saint. an angel who saved their planet, brought one of their own home. a figure that they can't quite quantify or label beyond a gift from the heavens and whatever god they might have above.

and earth, who views him as a hero - of course - but as the sacrificial lamb to a higher power. a tragedy, with his fate given up to god. the weight of humanity on his shoulders, sent to the void.

Bloodloathing fans is this anything

@not0an0expert thank you so much for your lovely message <3 I am more than happy for people to share their thoughts and reactions to the outline and story beats of Complex Journey, either in ao3 comments or here, if they’d like. Seeing everyone’s reactions to my work is so encouraging and uplifting for me. I may have had to step away from working on this fic full time (for now), but I still care deeply about it, and still adore hearing what people think about it.

I’ve done a full reaction to your message, which includes a few more dialogue snippets I have in my head below the cut <3

i know many of us are seeing the past 5-3 months and everything avid has posted/said during this time and it's being recontextualized and thus, many will probably want to claim things like "i knew he was lying about he harassment because every time he started it"

and i get it, i will get to my thoughts on in later, but PLEASE be mindful that that is a very VERY dangerous thinking process to go towards, and it very much leans into victim blaming. you can start a flirting encounter and feel uncomfortable later and want it to stop. you can flirt with someone for a long time and suddenly be hit by a feeling that it's not ok with you. if there's one thing we're not gonna do is spread victimblamy rethoric, same were not gonna be transphobic, ok?

now. NOW.

it would be incorrect to say avid just "started the flirting" and felt uncomfortable later

please everyone remember how MUCH he pushed the aviscott ship early on. coming up with the siredaddy thing and song on stream and encouraging it. ACTIVELY pushing the romantic plot between them. when scott claimed the beacon kiss was on the cheek avid was the one who texted scott if the canon could be an actual kiss or if "they could make tongue canon"

in christmas smp and sbk, whenever scott flirted with other people-because it's SCOTT, he quite literally flirts with all his friends and enjoys flirty characters- i remember avid actively showing up and putting himself in the middle and acting pouty/upset if scott didnt include him

and it was these two attitudes that ACTUALLY put me off when i saw his statement about being "aggressively flirted with"

i felt like if they had had a change of heart, they could have easily talked it out with who i assumed he was referring to, aka scott, ESPECIALLY considering that for multiple weeks before that scott had not actively flirted in character with avid in sbk , misadventures or when he did the bannerfall cameo

it felt disingenuous and calculated in how it was worded, as well as his following discord message that was shared by others

it felt clear enough to implicate someone and yet vague enough to be able to claim someone was "parasocial" if you ever pointed it out (a thing he DID btw. he actually subtweeted a less than 400followers account for posting about noticing the elephant in the room)

anyways all that is to say

please be careful about victim blaming speech in these following days. but please be aware that avid was, according to most of the statements Painting Himself As A Victim When He Was Not One

-A rank for Most Angsty, Most Lore, and Most Bechdel Passing

-B rank for Most Boyloser Energy from Owen and Most Gay

-C rank for Easiest Character Development (we know Owen did a lot of reading/learning for his character)

Vampires SMP is not the story of one single character only, however prominent or pivotal that character may have been

Vampires SMP is POW Creations giving us an incredibly beautiful story to step into

It’s Apo doing whatever it takes to get back to Cherri

It’s Cleo and Pearl making a new home and saving so many doomed people

It’s Martyn and Ren protecting the townsfolk to their very last breath

It’s Sausage mourning his friends and carrying their memory with him and making sure the story is told

It’s Pyro being loved and remembered and mourned, despite the cruelty he endured that nearly erased the person he was

It’s Scott and Shelby and Drift stepping into the new world together and promising to do better

It’s Legundo and Owen finally choosing their own ends and being able to rest

It’s Abolish going home

And Vampires SMP is all of us in the fandom supporting each other and supporting the people who continue to bring us these wonderful characters and stories and inspiring so many of us fans to create passion projects of our own

'The knight god won’t let you pay your penance here. It’s just you… and the never ending void of your mistakes'

'Arthur was wrong to call you Owain… there is no noble knight here'

'Do you stay awake at night thinking of the fact you could of prevented his death?'

'Do you think Shan truly sees you as her best friend? Or is it just cruel mockery?'

(This isn’t an Owain taunt but. When Luanne took over Owen’s stream so he could eat 4c asked her to type out 67 in chat and she did it so that probably counts)

'Death would be a mercy for you'

'So do you think this’ll take you 6…? or 7 hours?'

'We always bounce back right…? Oh wait… I forget all you do is fall.'

'You actually believe you are honourable enough to knight a cat from another kingdom after all you did? Pitiful.'

'Funny a lion is considered “The King of Beasts”. You wear the mask of the only thing you couldn’t save. Purely a Cowardly Lion hiding behind the mask'

'They only noticed your failures. They don’t respect you. So what makes you think they care about your oath? You could break your oath and prove them all wrong. Show them the true pain you suffered.'

'You will bear no legacy. All people will remember is how you betrayed your kingdom. You will die just as how you were born, nameless.'

'You got so high, got so far, only to mess up right when it mattered…'

'Got a lot of bark for a lion with a small bite.' (In response to Owen saying 'If only you had more follow through maybe your best friend wouldn't be chewing bark rn')

'Why do you still wear that mask? No one can see you here. Or does your own hate weigh more than your desire to breathe?'

'You try so desperately to get out… but even if you do… your shame is still your own eternal hell you can't escape from.'

'I wonder if the Knight God pays penance every time you fall... because your soul was lost long ago.'

'I find it interesting you struggle most in your ability to bounce.' followed by 'Quiet little lion' when he didn't respond.

'4 and a half hours... on a map of your own design? Silly for a god to build a puzzle of his own pain.'

'I love icecream' lol

'I'm the nice god now YOU GOT THIS OWAIN WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'

'How the mighty fall'