I'm only here for the fanfics

reblog if its friday and you made it

Two bite brownies?? Don’t tell me how many bites to take per brownie, Trader Joe’s, okay for me, they’re zero bite brownies. I suck those things down like a BURMESE PYTHON

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

my hobbies include knowing and being right

I’m trying not to reblog posts on this blog but I feel that this is important to post here.

And for the people asking “Well if you don’t support it irl then why would you like it in fiction?!” Because when it’s happening irl real people are suffering and dying and that’s horrible and I’d never want that. But when it’s fiction, when no real people are being hurt or killed, it’s interesting to explore the experience, the effects it may have, and to an extent experience the emotions involved without actually having to experience the horrible thing. You explore scary, dangerous things from a safe distance.

It’s the same reason I love disaster movies and don’t love actual disasters. I mean, if someone can’t intuit the difference  between watching a movie like 2012 and yelling “cool!” when LA slides into the ocean and being horrified at the real life effects of global warming and the idea of millions of people dying as a result, then  *I* am not the one with the problem. 

🙏😩

He doesn’t just steal it though. He puts it on his own head. He takes it, tries it on, looks around (I swear like he’s going “Look look I’m a Human! Don’t I look good in my Human head-thing?”) then gives it back. There is so much playful and good-natured intelligence in this one gesture I’m losing my mind here. Elephants are too freaking good for us. 

This is a very small thing but that means, to an elephant, the top of their head is where they put the hat. That is not what I’d consider the top of their head lol.

They’re placing the hat right over their eyes, like how we wear them

Hurr durr, look at me, I’m a hooman!

Always a reblog.

guy who has a weird nickname and when he tries to explain where it came from it doesnt make sense

they call me piss because i never give up

they call me baby mario because i'll hurt anybody

an evil guy killing people is problematic TO YOU. not to me though. it builds character

This improves the scene immeasurably by shifting it from an everyday occurrence in a world where spontaneous musical numbers are a normal, expected thing, to a bunch of guys being totally and unapologetically Like That.

HEY AUNTY YOU WANNA TELL US SOMETHING

I love the implication that every other spider was invited to the wedding and did nothing to stop it

Why slam the door once when you can do it three fucking times?

i had an incredibly visceral reaction to this