just like my beloved mutuals, i'm completely normal about asoue
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@beatricebidelaire
just like my beloved mutuals, i'm completely normal about asoue

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if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery
i know that "vfd bad" is very much the "jedis bad" of the snicketverse fandom in that it's a surface level take that waters down nuance, but i also feel compelled to mention how horrifying it is that the poem vfd kids were made to memorize includes the words "so don't scream when we take you", and the general idea that no matter how much abuse or neglect or endangerment they all suffered, it's just what they signed up for by virtue of being "volunteers". it's the same mindset we see ish utilize against the villagers; constantly reminding them that they are choosing to be here, even though he's very much influencing that decision. look at the sugar bowl generation: orphans, outcasts, lost children. anyone who may, for one reason or another, have at some point had a reason to "drive away in secret", unaware that in doing so, they were apparently signing up to be volunteers.
i also feel like the implications that vfd was never as forgiving as they portrayed themselves as is heavy, especially with count olaf. his and jacques' confrontation in tvv seems confusing; jacques is offering him, essentially, a get out of jail free card. telling him that he can rejoin vfd, with no consequences. that no one will hold him accountable for the several murders and arsons he's committed. even though this seems like an absurdly favourable deal, olaf still refuses. now, this could of course be chalked up to olaf's own stubbornness; "i'm sorry" will never be enough to quell his thirst for revenge against the baudelaires, "we won't throw the book at you" will never account for his bitterness, resentment, hatred, or the sheer joy he takes in taking all of that out on other people. but the fact that he didn't even consider jacques' proposal, even though the baudelaires managed to convince him to do something good by literally just telling him he has the capacity to (twice!), seems...suspicious. almost like he doesn't believe jacques. almost like he knows jacques is lying, either willfully or unknowingly. because jacques snicket may be a forgiving person, but vfd is not a forgiving organization. olaf has a sort of sunk cost fallacy relationship with his own villainy; he believes he has simply gone too far, devoted too much of his life to this to go back now. if he were to suspect that vfd feels the same way, that they'd hold his actions against him in more ways than just a slap on the wrists and a "do better next time", well...of course he wouldn't willingly turn himself in.
Ernest almost drowned once.
Watching him stand by the pond now, nearly twenty years later, Frank's heart races in his chest. His body recalling the panic of the moment.
The memories rise unbidden like bile at the back of the throat.
They'd just been messing around. Young boys, barely teenagers, who thought themselves smarter than their teachers. Sneaking out after hours hadn't been easy, but oh was it worth it.
The bright moonlight shimmered off the ice - diamonds that would never be mined or shaped, now embedded as scenery in the backdrop of a triplets worst memory.
They'd been playing. Slipping and sliding across the ice, grasping at matching uniforms to stay upright. A shriek of laughter reflecting off the snowy landscape of the mountains, quickly shushed for fear of discovery.
Ernest had taken to the ice like he had been born on it. Long legs that none of them had quite grown into yet, steady beneath him. His face a picture of delightful mischief as he circled his brothers.
Dewey was more cautious, clinging to Frank's elbow and trying very hard not to think about the cold, cold water below. He had been smiling though, even when Frank had slipped and brought them both crashing into the freezing floor beneath them.
It had been tag. Frank thought faintly, it all seemed so irrelevant in the aftermath.
One moment his brother was grinning, his cheeks and ears flushed red from the cold and from excitement. The next- there was a gaping hole in the ice where his brother had been.
Frank doesn't remember screaming but he thinks that he must have done. They'd both scrambled across the ice, yelling Ernest's name.
The water was black. Blacker than the ink that was constantly smudged across Dewey's fingers. Blacker than the chalkboards that Ernest used to solve complex maths. Blacker than the dark, dark sky above them.
Ernest was the one in the water, but Frank's heart was ice inside his chest. His tears burned hot against his cold face.
Someone had arrived then. Some adult, a volunteer they hadn't met yet, shoving the two of them aside to save their third.
To this day, Frank isn't sure how they managed it - the hurricane of fear screaming in his head had distorted the memory.
The next thing he remembers is Ernest being dragged back onto the ice, his uniform soaked and clinging to his body like a shroud. He was cold as death, coughing up water through numb lips.
The volunteer had carried him to the infirmary, Frank and Dewey trailing behind, both trembling almost as hard as their brother, petrified that they were going to lose-
"Are you okay?" Ernest's voice cuts through the torrent of memories. "You look terrible what's wrong?"
His brother's face swims into focus, concern curling around the familiar features.
"I'm fine-" Frank manages, shaking the feeling of ice from his hands, pulling himself back together. "I was thinking we should discuss adding antifreeze to the pond."
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i can't draw kissing very well. be so nice to me
I'll be the first to admit it, I think this hyper fixation might have got a bit too far.
Bug news everyone i just made a root beer float
Big news
I meant big news
I don't have any bug news my root beer float is not bug news
That's what you think
:o woah... things are so difference in bug world..
A crucial part of the bookstore experience is saying hi to all the books you’ve already read
Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

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Oh, it’s even better than that.
What happened was the lease to The Theatre (actual name) was coming to an end, and the asshole landlord Giles Allen refused to extend it. He even tried to argue that since he owned the land, he also owned The Theatre itself (see: asshole).
So the Burbages and/or Shakespeare came up with a very clever solution: While they did not own the land The Theatre was on, they did in fact own The Theatre itself. So they hired people to dismantle The Theatre in Shoreditch on the sly and take the pieces to set up a new one in Southwark.
Across the Thames River.
In the winter when the Thames was frozen solid.
During Christmas.
The plan was successful, and they reconstructed their new playhouse by the summer of 1599: The Globe, now famous for being the home of Shakespeare’s later plays, from Henry V or Julius Caesar on.
Definitely one of the most badass moments in Shakespeare’s actual life.
can i have a sip of your cigarette
in retrospect it is crazy characterization that olaf's mom died in a fire when he was a kid but he's like. the textbook example of a pyromaniac anyways.

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Post-canon Sunny Baudelaire brings her criminal record to show-and-tell at her pre-school
what if we kissed in the library
check more of my work on instagram // buy prints here