&. escape

“Uhm, it doesn’t, to be honest“ He made face. “Not like I’ve been living in Aspen that long, either.“

“Well, I don’t know either. How fond of your kid are you again?“ He made a face. “…I’m kidding.”

“Where does a child hide in a small town like this?”

@norahharington

“Would a school really hold it against you for being a whiz in the kitchen?” Auden laughed, “At the very least, I hope they told you instead of letting you walk around like that all day.”

“I hope not!” Norah grinned, then shook her head. “It was more just embarrassing. And nope, they didn’t say anything, I discovered it for myself when I went to the bathroom. After I’d left. I swear, I know it’s awkward to tell someone something like that, but I’m a big believer in it. I always whisper if you’ve got something in your teeth or if your fly is down. It’s the right thing to do.”

I know! I mean, I saw the bakery. I’m a big, big fan. Of baking. Not that I bake, just…eat a lot. Uh, anyway. You can make your own Pop Tarts without the whole government juicing and processed stuff? Cool. Don’t worry though, I think everything I just said was really weird so. Thank you, though. That was the perfect amount of sales-y.

Oh! Thank you! I was worried that no one would notice it or like… want baked goods. So you are always welcome to come and eat a lot. I do, I’ve got a little girl so I’m always trying to perfect recipes that aren’t going to rot her teeth out of her head. No, that wasn’t weird at all, besides, I’m a rambler from way back. But thank you, I’m trying to be sales-y without being over the top.

with a raised eyebrow, sloane examined the younger blonde in front of her, her lips curving into a slight smirk. “well, that’s… too bad, but hey, at least you were being productive, i’ve picked up juliet 2 hours late after falling asleep at my laptop. i showed up to the school with dried drool on the corner of my mouth. just be glad you weren’t that bad!”

Norah laughed, fingers absently playing with the ends of her hair. “Oh geez,” she grinned. “Ok, so it definitely could’ve been worse. How did Juliet pull up after that incident?” She wondered how Charlotte would survive that -- she’d been 10 minutes late once and her daughter had been on the verge of tears.

Still, it’s always good to keep up with the local news. I’ve heard they’re investigating a sex cult. Can you believe this town holds a fucking sex cult? It’s just wild. Shakespeare would probably want to be a part of it, if we’re being realistic. Honestly, I’m not one to talk. JK could be like “Dobby is actually pansexual aromantic” and I would eat. That. Shit. Up. No, I’m kidding, but it’s like– Who even cares, you know? The books are out, Dumbledore is gay. People should just move on. Dude. Come on, really? Only because I was starting to like you!

I used to read Shakespeare and enjoy, nowadays I can’t barely read the Aspen Daily. I’m the worst English teacher of all time and I should be fired. Although, don’t tell anyone this. I really like my job. The kids are trash when it comes to homework, but they get so engaged when we have debates in class, I love it. There you go, there’s something I like to hear. Harry Potter is a classic. You’re talking to a Gryffindor over here. 

“At least it shows you’re dedicated to your profession. Better than me leaving work with blood on my hands.”

Norah’s smile faltered for a second. “Please tell me you’re a surgeon or something and not... a killer.”

Alright, there you’ve got a point. But do I remember enough of Shakespere or do I just fake it really well? I’ll leave that for you to decide. God, I hated Dickens in high school. It’s just– Honestly, I like accessible reading, you know? I mean, classics are important, sure, but for kids to get into ‘em, they gotta start from the bottom, like, Harry Potter or, I don’t know, Hunger Games or whatever kids are into these days. 

God, at this point, if I wrote an essay about Shakespeare, I’d probably give myself a F. I’ve got so good at judging schoolwork that I’ve forgot how to actually get any done. I agree completely with you. Like, people like to say “Oh it’s old so it’s boring” but like I probably couldn’t have given them an easier assignment. 

Man, I know the government are definitely juicing them with something they don’t want us to know abut but… I just cannot get enough of chocolate fudge Pop Tarts. I’m failing as a father in this one respect, lowkey, I think.

I don’t want to come across as too sales-y, but if you must feed your kid Pop Tarts, at least come in and buy some of my slightly less processed and sugary ones. Oh, I uh... run a bakery, in case that seemed like a weird thing to say. 

Exactly! God, what I would give to read something on Midsummer Night’s, that’s my favorite. But nooo, everyone picked Romeo & Juliet and it’s just… So obvious they didn’t read it. I’m pretty sure one of these kids just watched the version with DiCaprio because there’s a whole paragraph on the Juliet shooting herself?

If I have to read one more essay about Romeo & Juliet, write me down as the next one in line for the poison.

Was the assignment on Shakespeare in general, and that’s the play everyone picked? I was always partial to Hamlet or A Midsummer Night’s Dream, personally.

U KNOW U LOVE ME XOXO GOSSIP GIRL. ya girl avie back at it again and liSTEN i am sorry i am like this but also NOT REALLY.

ok so did i half rip this off from that a simple favour movie? yes but in my defense it was a brilliant bit of fuckery and blake lively wore some fucking fierce ass suits in that movie and mAYBE I LOVE HER:

norah’s secret is that she faked her death and her daughter’s death to escape from her abusive ex bc listen sometimes a girl has to go to extremes to escape from a man. but she collected on her own life insurance policy by naming her new fake identity as the beneficiary bc ur girl thought this shit THROUGH so she a criminal lowkey but loaDED BITCH.

has a five year old daughter named (*spins wheel*) charlotte aka lottie and basically would do anything to keep her lil babe healthy, happy and well adjusted. 

is a master baker (there’s a masturbator joke in here somewhere) and probably runs a bakery/works in a bakery/owns a bakery i mean idk we’ll see what i decide when i start writing for her.

can be super tactless bc she just has no time for the sort of fuckery people can try n drag her into like this bitch did not fake her death to be bored to real death by someone.

kinda lowkey misses her family but you made your grave norah so you gotta live in it now, also remember how like in pll alison kinda faked her death but she’d been such a troll that a WHOLE TOWN hated her at the age of 14? goals.