hairy pooter

I’ve started re-listening to the Harry Potter books at work. They’re putting me in the mood for fall, coffee, sweaters, and pumpkin bark candy. 

i don’t need to cast accio to make you come

are we in charms class cuz you have me under your spell

you don’t need alohomora to unlock my heart

all the prophecies in the department of mysteries say i belong with you

is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me

hey girl…are you a dementor because you take my breath away

damn i must have had some felix felicis, bc I think I’m about to get lucky

you don’t need lumos to turn me on

hagrid’s not the only giant at hogwarts if you know what i mean

bill winks across the table at harry

peter pettigrew pun-master extraordinaire will never use the same pun twice stammers more than is generally acceptable uses your first name if you are pissing him off cannot pull for shit, except when drunk excessively borrows phrases & wears them out quickly lets out long strings of curses when aggravated sings the proper melodies but always fucks up the lyrics makes up words and defends their honor to his death

remus lupin goes for the subtle joke will correct your grammar, but only in his head will sit in silence for three solid minutes until he has formed his entire thought uses the deadly calm voice if you are pissing him off cannot flirt for shit but also never tries king of passive-aggression okay throws your own lines back at you five minutes later curses excessively when when tired/ill always knows the lyrics but refuses to sing in public excellent vocabulary but not pretentious enough to use half of it