I Wanna Fireball Congress

What does a soldier do when there's no more war to fight?

When you set out for revenge, dig two graves.

i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

WAIT

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

Please

I am ashamed to say that I put a lot of effort into this….

holy. fucking. STARS.

how have you done this…..why have you done it…..

Look at the kids run! 

Happy Grinch Day, Chapter 4 of the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER FIX-IT FIC is up!

Parent Trap but Gritty and the Lorax try to reunite Tony & the Grinch

Animal rights stuff is all like “pigs are smart and curious and have personalities” and bypasses the fact that pigs will eat you without question or hesitation if given the opportunity

If you’re mad about this post maybe try chilling

Farmers will lovingly care for a pig, then kill it and eat it. Pigs will happily go to their farmer for food with all the affection in their heart, and if the farmer has a medical emergency and falls down, they will kill him and eat him. Friendship with a side of kill and eat is just the kind of relationship pigs and humans have with each other.