vincit qui se vincit

“I’m not your boss, I’m your friend”

“Other people will be hurt by this and it’s your fault and I’m going to tell them all that”

Mocking language

Jobs are important too

“Be a team player”

“We’re your family too”

Talking as if this is a thing you must do

“We all make sacrifices”

Undermining your authority

“You caused all of this, really”

Accusing you of being “unprofessional”

“Look at the money you cost us”

“Just laugh it off and come back to work”

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

"there is no power in these points and no point to this presentation"

in these points and no point to

this presentation”

dude.

THANK YOU

You can read any implied text you see in this thing, even the book, that’s how detailed it is. Look at the painting on those letters!

jesus christ you’re just showing off now, Hans!

HANS OH MY GOD

but everyone else actually admires it because of the delicious plum on its back that it can’t see

anyway, I’m going on a second date with a girl soon and couldn’t help but think “Why would she want to keep going out with me?? I’m like, so weird and a little crazy.”