I Once Bit A Rock In Two @nogoodpainting - Tumblr Blog

I keep thinking about that post about the whole genre of movies about a white guy getting into an asian philosophy, matrial art etc and then proceeding to surpass his teacher and be the best ever at it, and I started thinking about the opposite of it.

I want a movie about a chinese dude who comes to Finland, downs an entire bottle of Koskenkorva, tries to fight a nearby cow and ends up lying face down in a ditch while sobbing about his ex wife and having like 5 finnish dudes staring at him in awe like

“That’s him. That’s the chosen one.”

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

the-clown-wars

buttpoems

randomitemdrop

Item: hoverpuppy. As a standard puppy but unaffected by gravity.

thewintersolo

Every journey has a first step.

blackarachnya

sheev palpatine moodboard

blackarachnya

yall know what time it is

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

hmmm

TEASER TRAILER ARRIVES ON FRIDAY EVERYONE GET REAAAADY

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

t'challa: we’re stuck in this God knows where universe how are you not worried

peter: she will find me anyways

shuri: who

duolingo owl with glowing red eyes tearing through the fabric of the soul realm reality: HOLA MADREFUCKER DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA

earth-best-defender

yo no voy hesitar bitch

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

quack-likeaduck

you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????

pondwitch

that one fallout 3 plot breakdown from /v/ has problems but i’ll never forget “a purifier that shouldnt exist released radiation it shouldnt have, killing colonol autumn who had no reason to be there. then colonol autumn, who shouldnt be alive, captured us in a place he shouldn’t have been able to reach with a flashbang grenade that shouldn’t have worked to prevent us from fixing the machine he wanted fixed”

also “due to this overwhelming consesus we were obliged to fight a massive war” and “the president set us free to enact his plan which was of no benefit to anyone, ourselves least of all”

also the part where he recounts the events of babytown and just devolves into keyboard smashing

akunohomu

micchy-did-nothing-wrong

And this is why Bethesda should just outsource their writing to Obsidian.

uesp

Did You Know: Jorrvaskr, the mead hall of the Companions, is an overturned ship? The Jorrvaskr was one of the ships used by the Five Hundred Companions in the Return, crewed by the closest friends of Ysgramor. Traveling across the land to the site where they would build Whiterun, they found the region strangely lacked elven inhabitants.

After questioning some of their elven captives about their avoidance of Whiterun, they learned the elves feared the winged colossus at what would become the Skyforge, as it predated their civilization. Deciding to exploit the elven fear of the Skyforge, Jorrvaskr would be turned into a shelter for the 22 Companions present, and Whiterun would grow around the Skyforge and Jorrvaskr.

ataraxystar

Unanswered Lore Question: Does the roof of Jorrvaskr need a roofer or a shipwright to repair it?

uesp

spoiledchestnut

Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.

Human: What?

Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?

Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.

hornygold

Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!

Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.

Alien: Humans are insane!

crazy-pages

“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.

facts-i-just-made-up

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

facts-i-just-made-up

farmfreshmemes

Trending Blogs

Last Seen Blogs

I Once Bit A Rock In Two