♡wayä k'äkäto♡

So’lek was not any better. Rather than shutting down, he had drowned himself in work. Taking down RDA sites before they even had the chance to realize what was happening. His newfound vengeance made him even more aggressive towards the RDA than usual. He would be sure to make them pay for taking his son. 

Regardless of this, you still could not stand seeing your mate help the sky people. You could not understand why, after everything they have done to your home, your clan, your family, he would still surround himself with them. 

As much as So’lek urged you to come back to the Resistance, you refused. He understood your apprehension, but your hatred for the sky people worried him. He could see his own past bitterness within you. He would do whatever it takes to stop you from going down that path, a path of hatred. 

Your children had held up as best as they could. Lew’eyn stepped up more than ever since the loss of his brother. He felt that it was now his responsibility to fill Ikmay's role. You and So’lek disagreed; he was still too young, not yet strong enough to face the horrors of the RDA. Yuwe, your sweet Yuwe, had become a frightened, traumatized little girl. Often she would crawl into your and So’leks’ hammock at night, clinging to you both in pure, childlike fear when her nightmares became too much. 

You could understand this. The image of Ikmay's lifeless body haunted you not just at night, but anytime you saw or heard anything that reminded you of your eldest son. 

The frigid cold reminders would wash over you like a powerful waterfall with no means of stopping. 

Everyone has their breaking point, and you surely had met yours. 

No longer could you stand to be near the sky people, near their cold metal boxes, their sterile air that disgusted you to breathe in. You could not stand their looks of pity, for it all felt inauthentic. They did this, the sky people are at fault for all the suffering you, So’lek, your children, your clan, and all of Pandora have felt. 

So, you decided to do something about it. 

You knew that So’lek would not be easily convinced to step back from the Resistance, let alone to seek uturu among the Kame’tire, but you had to try. You had to think of your children's safety; it was your job to protect them. 

You waited till the children had gone to sleep for the night. You approached So’lek softly as he was sharpening his knife, choosing your next words carefully. 

“I believe that it would be best if we stepped back from the Resistance. I wish to seek uturu among the Kame’tire.”

So’lek’s form went rigid at this, the muscles in his back visibly tensing. Without even seeing his face, you knew how he felt towards the idea. He did not turn towards you; the sharpening of his knife stopped, filling the room with a cold, heavy silence. 

“No.”

His voice was gruff with the weight of finality. No other words needed to be spoken to tell you how he felt. Still, you would not back down so easily. You had been mated with So’lek for many years. Even before that, you grew up together, spending your childhood joined at the hip. So, you knew him very well; you knew this would take more convincing. You also knew that he would not shut you down entirely.  

“Think of our children, So’lek. I cannot lose another to the sky people, I will not.”

Finally, he turned towards you, pushing himself to a stand as he looked at you with that hardened expression you had become too accustomed to. You held your breath as you waited for his response. Hoping that he would see your fears. 

“You think that I am not thinking of our children?”

“I- I did not-”

He cut you off before you could finish your sentence. It was clear he was growing increasingly irritated with the idea and with this conversation. 

“I think of our children every day. I think of our son, of how I failed to protect him. I told you I would protect him with my life, and I failed. Not a day goes by that I do not fear for our children. That is exactly why I will not run from this war. I fight to protect the children, to protect you.”

You understood his way of thinking, but you could not see clearly. Turning from him, you shakily held back tears. How could you convince him of this?

“I would not ask this if I felt there was any other way to protect them.”

So’lek softened at this. He stepped closer towards you, gripping your shoulders as he turned you to face him. Then, taking your face in his hands as he wiped your tears.

“Yawne, we cannot hide from this war. Running will not put a stop to it.”

You sniffled as you nodded at his words. Wrapping your hands around his wrists to ground yourself. You let out a shaky breath that you did not realize you were holding. Finally, you looked up at him, gazing into his eyes. His eyes were clouded with grief and determination to protect his family and put an end to this war. 

“I am scared, So’lek.”

Your words came out quiet, almost a whisper. He pulled you closer and wrapped himself around you, shushing you softly as you sobbed into his shoulder. 

“I know. I know you are scared, as am I, but the Resistance needs us. You cannot shut down, not now.”

You shook your head at this, pulling from him to gaze up into his eyes. How could he ask you to rejoin the Resistance? He knew how you felt towards the sky people. You could not. 

“You cannot ask this of me. If you refuse to join the Kame’tire, that is fine. I will not surround myself or my children with those sky people.”

So’lek felt his heart break at your words. His chest twisting into something sharp, it pained him to hear your words, to hear how your hatred had seeped out like this. 

“They are on our side. Do not forget who we are fighting. I will not allow you to go down this path, a path of hatred. You saw what it did to me.”

You took in his words. Maybe he was right. As much as it pained you to admit it, the Resistance was only trying to help your cause. 

“I will rejoin the fight, but do not expect me to be cordial with them.” 

So’lek hummed in agreement, pulling you back into him, breathing you in. 

“Thank you, yawne. I promise you, once this is over, we will give our children the life they deserve. I will protect this family, regardless of my past failures.”

You would not allow him to blame himself for your son's death. You could see how it had affected him. The torment he faced was visibly wearing him down every day. 

Softly, you spoke into his chest, not wanting to pull yourself from his embrace. 

“Do not blame yourself; the only ones at fault here are the sky people. You did everything you could to protect him.”

He only nodded, fighting back tears of his own. He knew that if he spoke, he would choke on his words. So, he remained silent. Only holding you tighter as a means to ground himself. 

Together, you faced the realization that this war was far from over. The RDA would continue to take until they were squashed out. 

So, after weeks of grief and isolating yourself, you slowly stepped back into your role at the Resistance. 

You were still apprehensive the allow the children to come, so for the time being, they stayed back. When the time was right, and you felt comfortable again, you would allow them to come with you and So’ek. 

The Resistance was thrilled to have you back. None of them said anything to you about Ikmay, but you could feel the weight of their unspoken words lingering in the air. 

You stayed more resigned than you once were, but So’lek was happy just to see you rejoining the fight. As much as it pained you to face the RDA once more, it had to be done. 

Much like So’lek, you would do anything to protect your family. 

I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading! If you have any ideas for more So'lek fics, my requests are open!