if the universe is so big, why won't it fight me?

there are a bunch of free monitor tests, but here’s an easy one you can use. the passmark and eizo tests are also pretty good, though passmark doesn’t work in your browser. be warned that some tests may cause eye strain.

With my most recent pregnancy in 2020, I started receiving formula samples in the mail from Similac and Enfamil in my first trimester. My email was quickly passed between pregnancy and baby specific companies and my inbox became flooded with emails advertising countless products and services.

I was harassed by 2 cord blood storage companies after briefly browsing one of their websites. After my baby was diagnosed as terminal, I had a phone conversation with a rep who tried to convince me multiple times to store her cord blood for my future babies.

After Sam was born/died, within a week of my delivery I received a congratulations letter and offer from Gerber Life Insurance in the mail, also without my consent. I continued receiving formula coupons despite reporting her death to the companies multiple times, and even now I receive toddler formula coupons from time to time.

Amazon has tracked my purchases to the point that they know I (should) have a 19 month old and will advertise me toddler and baby things for girls, despite never having linked an AGAB to my Amazon account.

A few weeks later, I began to get baby magazines in the mail, just like OP, but also ads for funeral plots. I showed my mother, and we realized that it’s because they knew that I was a knitter and assumed that the two demographics for “people who knit baby blankets” would be new parents or grandparents, and that I must be one of them. We laughed about it and threw out the ads.

Then, one day, we were slow to get the mail. My father got the mail.

My father hadn’t been there when I’d shown my mother the two ads and laughed about it with her. My father did not have context. My father only knew that his under-aged daughter was receiving coupons for formula and pregnancy related things.

To this day I am infinitely grateful that I’d had that conversation with my mother and she knew what was going on, because if I hadn’t had her to back me up, I’m pretty sure he actually would have killed me. He had decided, based on algorithm provided junk mail, that I was a pregnant at fifteen or sixteen, and that I was trying to hide it from them. And it was only because my mother was home and stepped in when the yelling started that it didn’t escalate.

BEING RACIST AGAINST THE DUTCH GHFGDH

did not eat

new hyperfixation and no time for it

have not done a creative in 24 hrs

Bad Sounds

clothes are touching my body

cold

people

one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel

last time I drank water was ??????

nervous nervous nervous nervous

got a Slightly Worse grade than expected

last hug was ??????

slept a full 45 minutes

lonely ............

guts are shredding (again)

have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs

stuck inside

too much screen time

Yay Overwhelm

room is disaster area

have not talked to Person in a while

bored

imposter phenomenon (again)

no current routine

how long have I been working???

Too Much Socialization

and then. and THEN. I may consider:

[id: a banner with a huge image of the :-) (smiley face with nose) emoticon captioned “smiley / first emoted here / 19 september 1982 / computer science department / www.cs.cmu.edu/smiley / carnegie mellon.” end id]

me: oh? paper towels?

my roommate: yeah thanks

me: what an interesting request

my roommate: uh—

me: disastrous for the environment, paper towels. or at least that’s what they say. swaths of forests cut down to make them every hour

my roommate: oh ok yeah i mean if you’d prefer we could look into using cloth towels—

me: oh! but bacteria builds up on cloth towels so easily. i knew a man a while back. yes, i’d even call him a friend. he died from an infection caused by a cloth towel that an environmentalist forced him to use against his will

my roommate: dude what—

me: it’s just so hard to know what the right choice is

my roommate: oh hold up you’re breaking character to go on a suspiciously detailed centrist rant, i forgot you told me you did this sometimes

I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction! 

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

But it's not a chair. It's a bar stool.

This, however, are all chairs:

Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.