eldritch whorror

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

I’m such a slut for thunderstorms

murder isn't okay however sometimes your friends have REALLY bad parents

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify

I just got on the elevator with Maggie and some other guy I've never seen before in my entire life. None of us said anything getting on but he hit my floor button and then his. He just knew what floor we were going to. With such confidence. Said not a word.

"bottom" please consider 🫵 whether the word you are looking for is in fact "submissive" ! because if we decide that taking dick means your personality & character r inherently subservient 😃 we might as well just throw in the towel on the most basic premise of feminism & 🔫 kill ourselves 🎉

feeling everything intensely is my curse