a thousand suns

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"

the "rip ___ you would have loved ___" meme is inherently more fun with ancient characters. rip clytemnestra you would have loved morse code. rip theseus you would have loved the airtag. rip callisto you would have loved wearing shorts.

rip Icarus you would have loved parachutes

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

may god forgive my wretched sins (spent money)

imo the pov character should be lying to themselves and concealing shit from themselves constantly

‎ ‎

exactly, bestie. Exactly

It’s soooo bad for their digestive systems yall please get seeds or something