Being Trans Is Hard

So a Facebook friend posted this long rant about how trans men couldn’t have experienced misogyny before coming out because if we acknowledge that we might have to acknowledge that TERFs are right and obviously that is bad, so basically for me I can choose between my gender identity and my actual experience, but can’t have both. (I’m not a woman, but the world had no way of knowing that these 25 years of me walking around being read as female 100% of the time and the cumulative effect of it all really sucks).

It’s frustrating that we can’t have like a reasonable conversation about this? Like obviously you’re going to be effected by socialization of the gender people *think* you are, and that is going to have effects, but it doesn’t mean that we have to throw out the fact gender identity is real or keep spaces limited to sex assigned at birth. Trans people, especially after transition are going to be effected by gender stuff for the gender they’re presenting as. And some stuff they can filter before that will be different too. But being trans isn’t going to change the fact that the world treated you a certain way because they assumed you were a different gender.

followers? 

The good news was my dyphoria went down dramatically, and I stopped dissociating when I looked in the mirror.

The bad was it took a while to get used to it. At first my hair was still used to my old part, and I HATED the way it looked at first and basically didn't leave the house without a hat. It is easier to take care of, but way harder to know how to style, and you can't escape a bad hair day (or month) with a ponytail anymore. Finding a decent hair cut has been the hardest part. It has slowly gotten better in the year since I cut it but yeah it was definitely a struggle to find a good hair cut + styling method, at least with my hair.

Also it was hard for me because of other stuff going on already. I felt ugly & undesirable, I felt I was losing myself with transition stuff... For most people I think it's a lot easier, even exciting right away.

especially you sopranos out there.

i was a high soprano, think mariah carey high soprano. i was poppin out G’s two octaves above middle C. yeah. i sang that high.

im on week 6 of T, while my changes have come a lot faster than most guys have, i’m a low tenor. i can barely hit the C above middle C.

i used to spend nights crying because i loved to sing but hated my high voice, and was heartbroken thinking that i’d never be anything lower than a first alto. clearly that ain’t the case.

Let them enjoy their flower crowns and pastel colours and stop telling them to man up and stop saying that they’re ruining the trans community by forcing a stereotype upon everyone

Don’t see every trans boy as a cute soft lil smol boy who could never do any wrong and is a beautiful butterfly let them enjoy their softness and others enjoy their roughness

Just let soft trans boys live. Lol.