distorted light beam

An angel appeared to me and gave me a baseball bat with nails in it

so I need a ‘you’re a person of high wealth/status and I legally married you at a courthouse the night before your wedding because you found out your fiancé is trying to dupe you and your family out of money/ruin your reputation as a revenge plot because of an old family rivalry and they’re not legally entitled to your assets if you’re already legally married to someone else and you agreed to pay me a high sum of money for this and I have a lot of debt so I didn’t pass up the deal but then your ex hits back at you in the media and we have to keep up the charade of being married and you agree to keep paying me money for it but oops I think I might be enjoying more than just the money and oops you’re starting to grow fond of me and this wasn’t part of the deal shit fuck’ plot please and thank you

(sitting in court on trial for murder) wow. god forbid women do anything

what they dont tell you about growing up as a very lonely little girl is that you grow up and still a part of you remains that very lonely little girl

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

and—wait!! the mortifying ordeal of being known has just entered the ring!! OHHHH IT'S THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

No your honor i would never kill out of anger. I killed that guy for sport

i can promise that if i ever create a commercial published project that leads to a fandom and arguments, i will not be going on my official accounts to use my authority to say who is right or wrong. i will be making an anonymous account to partake and make it worse