GROTESQUE

Éowyn, disguised as Dernhelm, among the Riders of Rohan ⚔️

Demolition Duo!

In minds of many trans people, cis men are allowed more diversity of visual expression, and in part it is because their existence is seen more like a blank slate. They're often not perceived as actively having a gender that femininity or androgyny could be in conflict with. And nobody thinks about them as "people on testosterone", even though, technically, in some ways, they are.

Meanwhile trans men and other people who may want T are seen as taking active masculinizing steps. And an attempt to deviate from typical masculine body goals confuses and enrages some people. It's seen as a waste of T, as appropriation of the "true trans" experience.

@cats-go-bump-in-the-night idk which version of this post you commented on, but this one might give more context.

It really varies. I personally don't want to look masculine. My transition goals look more like this

But cis people have goals, too. Did David Bowie come out of the womb looking, dressing, and acting like that? No. He worked towards it. He didn't always do it in the healthiest or most advisable way, but he put a lot of effort into projecting a very specific image that he had in mind.

It's also such a double standard. Women, cis and trans, are not just allowed but expected to put a ton of effort into curating an aesthetic for themselves. They're expected to spend a ton of money on beauty, fashion, and even home decor to fit an aesthetic. And i don't just mean cottagecore. I mean the aesthetic of a regular cute girl who is clean and healthy. The aesthetic of a quirky girl with a personality. The aesthetic of a good, clean, organized partner. The aesthetic of a loving mother who dedicates herself to her kids. The aesthetic of a cool, fashionable girl. Of a nerdy girl. Of a professional in a white collar job.

Men are expected to put in minimal effort. If they're seen doing too much, it's a challenge to their masculinity, and that's absolutely the case for cis men as well as trans men. Men are the ones who are stereotyped as not wiping their asses, they're the ones who don't wear makeup, who can get away with messier homes or a lack of decor without anyone commenting on it, who aren't supposed to know the names of different styles of shirts or shoes. They dress boring. Their hair is short and practical. They don't express themselves too much because that's a girl thing.

So people, subconsciously or not, protect those expectations onto trans men, who have often gone our whole lives being expected to curate an aesthetic and put effort into our appearances... and it turns out, some of us like to do that when we have control over it and it's not forced on us. We want to be men, but we want to be men who look cool and feel good to be. After all, we're going to do much effort for it.

A lot of cis men would do the same if they felt they could get away with it.. Alternative men, who have more leeway because they're alternative, LOVE to curate aesthetics and I've seen straight goth men pour tons of money, time, and energy into protecting elaborate images of who they want to be - much more than most gay men or even most women would because they have a community surrounding them that is affirming towards their presentation and their belonging within that community, whether they're the guy who shows up in a basic band shirt and black jeans or the guy with contacts, makeup, a wig, and an elaborate costume that cost hundreds of dollars.

Trans men have to fight so hard for our masculinity, and we already know we're not going to be taken seriously as men. So a lot of us just say, fuck it, if that's how it's going to be, I guess I'm just gonna work hard to be exactly the kind of man I want to be, because what's the point in transitioning if I'm still constrained by gendered expectations that prevent me from dressing the way I want to?

But the people ridiculing us usually haven't done much self-reflection regarding the way they view men, masculine gender roles, and how patriarchy forces them on men (it does!).

So it's allowed when it's David Bowie because he's cis and no one is going to question his gender. He's an artist. An eccentric. He made a ton of money off the fact that women found his version of male gender presentation sexy.

It's allowed when it's a cis gay man doing ir because, again, no one is questioning his gender, and he's fighting big, evil masculinity, so it's acceptable.

But a trans man is choosing to be a man, so why isn't he conforming to every single expectation of what masculinity is supposed to look like? Why does he want to be feminine? He must not really be a man, because only women and queer cis men wear makeup. He's probably a fujoshi girl who doesn't know what real men are like after a lifetime of mooning over fictional characters because girls are silly and boycrazy and don't know their own minds.

Dr. Gibbitz

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Dr. Donald Gorthian

Ronald Von Momnaldberg

Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich

Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III 

Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink

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Vater Oorlag

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Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)

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