EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M A MOTHER-FUCKING MONSTER

we popping the BIGGEST bottles when makorra happens tomorrow

happy 10 years <3

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

what does Quil do

All the time all the time

honestly, the radicalizing event that made me ditch faux-ironic detachment is when I sent a hard-to-write sentimental message to someone I was (at the time) close with, and they sent the vomiting emoji back. it was like oh okay, that sucks. I am now of the opinion that it is 100x cooler and braver to be sappy with the people you care about.

sorry babe, you gotta keep edging until you beat me in cummingopoly

Serial killer horror almost always falls flat with me, not only because by default it has to frame the police (usually the literal FBI) as an unquestionable force of good, but because I know just enough about IRL serial killers (thanks 3 years of my life I wasted "studying" criminology) to know they are unanimously deeply uninteresting and pathetic people. The most common type of serial killer is a guy who kills vulnerable people (sex workers, substance users, racialized women and girls, queer people) because he can and gets away with it for a while because he's targeting people whose lives are explicitly devalued by the society he lives in. That's it. There's no secret pattern that needs to be uncovered, no cryptic messages that need to be decoded, and definitely no "Satanic" shit. The handful of times there is weird "occult" stuff involved it's literally just untreated mental illness and/or fascist mysticism/religiosity. There's genuinely nothing interesting or scary about these people, just a bitter and depressing distillation of the thousands of routine violences needed to maintain the status quo.

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

stereo. The way you move ain’t fair you know.