what fresh hell is this?

someone strong peels him off the concrete and drags him away from the masses of flailing bodies and takes him outside. and he's still drunk and rolling, but he thinks his nose is maybe broken and his lip is split and he's got a rapidly swelling black eye from all the stray elbows and boots he took to the face when he got crowd crushed. he distantly realizes it's the vocalist of one of the openers tugging him to an unlit corner of the backyard, where he can hear a couple voices get closer as the ringing thumping noises of the show get farther away.

he's surrounded by the entire band, shoved to his knees and forced to suck all of their cocks while his nose and mouth fill with blood. they each piss down his throat when they're done, let him wash it down with a nip of vodka that burns split open skin, and put out their cigarettes on his wet tongue. they pin his limp body to the dirt as the drummer fucks him dry with his sticks and the guitarist tears at his clothes to write all over him in sharpie. the vocalist holds his beaten face and shushes his slurred begging and presses a mean thumb into his black eye while the bassist splits him open with his cock.

Ryan Leonard has a knack for earning top marks on and off the ice.

In the celebratory wake of Alex Ovechkin surpassing Wayne Gretzky as the NHL’s all-time goals leader earlier this month, the Washington Capitals rookie had to momentarily pause the festivities.

Why? He needed to log in to the Boston College website to finish an assignment in pursuit of his communications degree.

“It hasn’t been too bad, honestly,” Leonard said of balancing studies and hockey after signing a three-year entry-level contract on March 31. “When things changed with hockey, my professors at Boston College were very understanding and helped me stay enrolled through doing my work online.”

Whatever his formula for scholastic success happens to be, Leonard is excelling.

“I ended up getting a 98 on the quiz,” he said, somewhat sheepishly. “So that was good.”

The 20-year-old was in the Boston College locker room when he received signed his contract and received an ensuing text from Ovechkin welcoming him to the team.

Then came the whirlwind.

Less than a day after signing his NHL contract, Leonard was out to sushi dinner with his new Capitals teammates, including Ovechkin, who were in town for a game against Boston.

Dinner was just the first stop on the itinerary for the day.

After visiting Leonard’s school at Ovi’s request, the Capitals also made a stop at Circle Tavern where they were joined by Leonard’s Eagles teammates.

The next day, April 1, Leonard made his NHL debut in Boston.

The crowd included teammates and family in the stands at TD Garden. A few of his friends wore his collegiate jersey backwards, with Leonard’s name and number showcased on the front.

Just three nights later, Leonard scored his first NHL goal during a milestone game for Washington, as Ovechkin tied Gretzky’s goal record.

The cherry on top came when Gretzky visited the Capitals locker room after the game and personally congratulated Leonard on his first NHL tally.

Now, after nine regular-season games and four playoff contests, the eighth overall pick in the 2023 NHL Draft is part of a Capitals squad that clinched the top spot in the Eastern Conference and is battling the Montreal Canadiens in the First Round with a 3-1 series lead heading into Game 5.

“The first playoff game, you could feel the buzz in the rink,” recalled Leonard. “Everything is higher stakes, so it made the game a lot more fun.

“The guys around me have been tremendous, giving me support and reminding me to enjoy the moment. The support from my teammates and the leadership group is amazing – they have made me feel welcome.”

Andrew Mangiapane, who came to the Capitals via trade last June, is thrilled to have Leonard in the fold.

“He is young and brings energy, passion, and makes it super easy to get along with and have in the room,” said Mangiapane. “He’s fun to joke around with and tease a little – we haven’t really had a rookie all season so we’re enjoying that.”

They are also enjoying what Leonard, who helped the United States win consecutive gold medals for the first time at the IIHF World Junior Championship in 2024 and 2025, brings to the lineup.

One of three finalists for the 2025 Hobey Baker Memorial Award, Leonard became the first NCAA player with back-to-back 30-goal seasons for Boston College since Cam Atkinson, and the first Boston College skater since the late Johnny Gaudreau, to be named Hockey East Player of the Year.

“In all seriousness, he obviously has high-end skill and playing abilities,” said Mangiapane. “The biggest thing that stands out for me is his hockey IQ. It’s never easy to transition to the NHL from wherever you previously played, and he was able to be an impactful player right away.

“He knows where he has to be on the ice whether he’s in an offensive or defensive situation and I think that’s makes him pretty special. He has stepped in seamlessly.” 

Leonard, again, points to his teammates as a big reason for that comfort level on the ice.

“Everyone has been great, really. Tom [Wilson], John [Carlson] and O [Ovechkin] are unbelievable. Living with Dubes [Pierre-Luc Dubois], having the opportunity to talk to him before games and after games – just knowing what to expect – has been great.

“I have been able to get to know the guys better, like Andrew Mangiapane, Taylor Raddysh, Brandon Duhaime – they are a great crew. They like to goof around with me, teasing me.”

Off the ice, Leonard’s adjusting to everyday life – sharing a home with Dubois, walking dogs and facing off in video game battles.

“They have two dogs, so it’s fun here. They have a younger dog they got at the start of the year – he has a lot of energy – so it’s a blast to hang out with him. We take the dogs for walks – it’s nice to get that time outside.”

And just like his studies, the rookie is sporting an impressive average when he steps up to the plate, so to speak, when he and Dubois play MLB: The Show.

“I have kind of found my rhythm recently,” said Leonard. “He had my number early, but we’re pretty even in games won and lost.”

As for his communications degree, Leonard isn’t certain as to when he will complete all his courses.

Knowing that he is committed to achieving that goal is the most important thing.

“It is the pathway to a lot of things, not just one specific job or industry. Hopefully, I have a long and healthy hockey career, but just knowing there is a life after hockey, I want to be prepared.

“I am not a guy who likes to sit still, so I know I want to do something after hockey. I have no idea what it will be, but I know the degree will help me in the long run.”    

Leonard is hoping the Capitals have a long run in this year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs.

He’s embracing the chance to play his part in that goal.

“It’s a different role here with the Caps, but it teaches you a lot, in terms of playing in a lot of different situations. I have been learning to be a young guy in the league and what it takes to play in this league for a long time by doing the right thing every shift.