Distressed Squeak

So I decided to make a new blog and switch onto that for posting life updates(and there's a lot) and all the art I stopped bothering to post (also a lot but illness did hinder that)

So mutuals, obvs friends, if I've drawn for you or we've spoken before just like this post and I'll send you the url when I'm ready. Others that are interested can dm me and I'll consider you, only bc my dad is a weird creep. I've literally watched him make phone calls pretending to be other people.

So I decided to make a new blog and switch onto that for posting life updates(and there's a lot) and all the art I stopped bothering to post (also a lot but illness did hinder that)

So mutuals, obvs friends, if I've drawn for you or we've spoken before just like this post and I'll send you the url when I'm ready. Others that are interested can dm me and I'll consider you, only bc my dad is a weird creep. I've literally watched him make phone calls pretending to be other people.

So I decided to make a new blog and switch onto that for posting life updates(and there's a lot) and all the art I stopped bothering to post (also a lot but illness did hinder that)

So mutuals, obvs friends, if I've drawn for you or we've spoken before just like this post and I'll send you the url when I'm ready. Others that are interested can dm me and I'll consider you, only bc my dad is a weird creep. I've literally watched him make phone calls pretending to be other people.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.