Netflix Notes

I like revenge flicks. I'm also a fan of movies where gunfire is super loud in the mix for an accurate portrayal of the reality of guns rather than them being just another sound effect. It's an important factor in action movies/scenes for me. And who doesn't like Michael Caine?

This movie had all the basic pieces, so did it deliver? I think so. Mostly. It was slow to get going but I think that was the point. Character development and a building sense of "everything's fucked" and all that. Still, I feel like there was a lot they left unexplored.

Too much harping on Caine's character's oldness and not enough on his interactions with the lady FBI agent and the bar owner. Too much layered commentary on the UK's no-gun policy leaving the police gimped and useless against gun-toting criminals and not enough of Caine figuring shit out and shooting his way to the top. The end was too sudden and the big reveal felt rushed.

I'd forgotten how much potential Lindsay Lohan had before she went all crazy. She could'a been on Skins, man.

I would say that this movie is a caricature of high school but the truth is I wouldn't have a clue either way. I've heard from various sources that apparently people had friends in high school and did things like kiss girls and go to parties just like in this movie. But that seems otherworldly to my black hole of a school-age existence, and comparing this one to Skins, well, things were quite tame here at North Shore.

It's been a long while since I first watched this movie, but Mean Girls holds up much better than, say, Super Troopers, a drama/comedy from the same era. Plus, there are pretty girls to look at instead of a fat man's dinger.

Let me just say this right now before you put words in my mouth: I loved this movie. It was one of the best adaptations of A Book I Loved that I have seen in my shortish life. Jennifer Lawrence, hooray! That guy who played Peeta, hurrah! Woody Harrelson, sure why not!

Here are my three favorite things:

1. They took their time and got (almost) everything in.

2. They didn't bother giving the muttations have everyone's face.

3. TUCCI

Here are my three gripes:

1. Peeta-as-rock. Come on, dude didn't have a mirror, just some mud and stuff.

2. Too much Snow. He's supposed to be a mystery at this point.

3. Not enough violence.

LET ME BE CLEAR:I am not violence hungry, nor did I enjoy those parts in the book. But the fundamental problem with Hunger Game mania is that the BOOK IS ABOUT HUNGER GAME MANIA. WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT THEY ARE BEING CAPITAL PEOPLE?? The movie should have foregone hopes of getting a PG-13 rating and been as gory as the book was. There's no reason to treat this stuff lightly. This country forces children to tear open other children with machetes, twist their necks, shoot arrows at them, and otherwise maim and kill innocent people. It's a cautionary tale about a dystopian society being controlled and hoodwinked via reality television. Children die, people get misty like they're watching a movie. It's not real to them. And the movie, in my mind, had a duty to make it as real as the book did so we can be appropriately horrified.

Man, this has got to the be the longest buildup to a lacking payoff. I'm what you might call "bad at movies" so I don't know (nor do I care) if the writers were trying to make some sort of statement.

What I do care about, however, is how great the movie this movie stopped being about 45-50 minutes in actually was. There were characters and plots and foreboding. And it was all thrown away seemingly at random after a couple minutes of staring at Salma Hayek's impossibly curvy body. #demhips

25 years ago Nicholas Cage starred in a movie in which he didn't seem out of place. This is that movie.

As is common with most cult movies I see, I didn't "get" it. I guess that's what makes cult movies culty. They require multiple viewings until all the quirks and weirdness become lovable.

Ain't nobody got time for that. So, for me, it was and likely shall remain somewhat plodding and stupid with some funny bits scattered about. Charming as he may be, watching John Goodman yell for a solid three minutes out of the movie's ninety is only so entertaining.