Currently Crying

"I didn't block you, so that you can see how much fun I am having without you, but now I'm seeing how inlove you are with someone that isn't me. "

- h.g.b.

Makes sense, he doesn't love me. Probably never did.

How can he, if I don't even love myself.

But yes, he chose her. Knowing he's the only thing that I could ever love. "

- h.g.b

It should be easy to say. "No fuck I'm not alright, I'm not fine"

It should be easy to tell someone how you feel.

But we hide behind these walls. That no one can get through.

So you lie.

You say you fine.

But online.

Is the only place where you can break down.

To explain your thoughts and feelings.

"I never thought that you will find someone new before I do.

I could have had a few. But non of them was like you.

Even when I'm with someone new, you are the only one my mind will always go to."

-h.g.b

I want to know how it feels to be special to someone, to be on their mind, to be kissed passionately by them with a bit of lust, to just be held by them, to be taken out on dates, to go on spontaneous adventures together.

I want to know how it feels to be inlove with someone."

Somedays you annoy me like you're my boyfriend,

And once in a blue moon you remind me that you already have a girlfriend."

- h.g.b.

"I will never be over you.

The guy I could never say no to.

You were my first love.

You will still be the one I write of.

But now you will be the guy I once knew.

For now and forever I'm done with you!"

- h.g.b

"I started seeing someone the other week. And something didn't feel right. Didn't know what it could be, thought it was the way he treated me.

But I realized that the reason was, that he just wasn't you."

- h.g.b.

Her goodbye was hardly cold. And there you came crawling back.

First time in months of not seeing you. You called, called to use me.

And as fast as you came. You went straight back to her.

And I realized that I will always just be the second option. Kept in your back pocket. For when I'm needed.

But last night, I promised myself, was the last. The last time that you will ever hear me say.

"You know I can't say no to you."

-h.g.b.

"I will now never know if your love was real.

How you really felt.

If it sometimes were true.

Or if it was just for demonstration

that you can get anyone.

But you have HER now.

And what hurts the most

Is that you two fit,

And you look really really happy.

And the only thing

I was dreaming about

Was one last kiss

before I lose you for eternally.

But tonight.

I realized.

You are already gone."

- h.g.b.

But sometimes it's just easier not to."

"In my opinion I don't think you'll ever get over your ex...

You have this intense love for him and then one day you'll meet this person that makes you forget about the past. But that's not because you stopped loving your past, you just found a love deeper and greater than that. And maybe if you still think about the past that just means you haven't met that someone yet. Someone that understands you, or gets you. But hang in. You will meet them. And he will change the way you look at the world. He will make you realize that your past was just something to prepare you."