i'm just raw doggin' it everyday my dude

"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once it’s 30°C outside

hit her gpt-spot by accident and she started saying we weren't just having sex, we were teaching a masterclass on pleasure

gay people have access to a secret second internet where everybody’s always posting bad-luck-brian memes but they’re weird and sort of scary

they're making a Chris Hansen biopic with Robert Pattinson in it....

robert Pattinson voice: my hungry ass will eat just about anything

I saw a short guy with the largest thighs i've ever seen on a man and i audibly said jesus fuck without realizing it and he turned around but didn't see me and my dick almost flew right off

The coworker next to me was like "what is it with gay men and thighs? i don't get it" and like you absolutely do not understand janice mind your own fucking business im eating with my eyes

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen