I Cannot Be A Bride Anymore

atheist bpd girl: material conditions explain why people abandon me, a material flaw of my person

Picture from the Photographer Kalynn Youngblood, in her series Staged Portraiture and Documenting daily Black Life.

unconsensual romance is also used as a tool of correction by many. aromantics are often forced into romantic relationships in an attempt to “fix” them, lesbians are often forced into romantic relationships with men in an attempt to “fix” them, trans people are often forced into romantic relationships in an attempt to “fix” them (usually by trying to make them “return” to cisheterosexuality).

not to mention how men will force women (especially trans women) into romantic relationships simply because they feel entitled to them, and white people will do the exact same thing with racialised people.

i have met so many people who were coerced, manipulated, forced, or threatened into a romantic relationship, yet nobody batted an eye because, if you’re in a romantic relationship, it must be Mutual And Consensual. romance is uniquely good and beneficial to everyone, right? How Can Good Thing™️ Be Bad?

i don’t even think those can be called romantic relationships due to them being unconsensual (akin to how ‘unconsensual sex’ is an oxymoron, that’s called rape), but there’s no word to describe that yet, and they’re unfortunately considered genuine romantic relationships nonetheless.

we need to start making room for discussions about romantic violence (is that a term? well, it is now!).