i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

Partner is high as fuck as we walk to the grocery store to get movie snacks and they're like "Wow, that lady looks exactly like Anne Hathaway" and I looked and saw a poster of Anne Hathaway

heartwarming: transfem named mary sue and transmasc named gary stu have had a beautiful nonbinary baby named donut steel

You might think, "bad music artists are bad because they make bad music." But bad music artists don't make bad music. They expose the fact that all music is fundamentally stupid and terrible. People call them bad for this

Don't reduce my opinion down to "all music is pointless and bad". I also think it's stupid and terrible

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."