When the Muse hits

Dick: Well, it was a family business and 60% of my family weren't breathing.

Wally:

In this alternate universe, Dick fell with the rest of the Flying Graysons. Bruce never had the chance to adopt him, it never even crossed his mind, because it was never even a possibility.

Having a child is something he never knew he was missing. He’s still friendly with Superman and Wonder Woman and he’s in the Justice League, but he’s more closed off. He doesn’t open up as much as he would have if he had a brightly colored little Robin at his side.

So when this terrified and frantic child appears in his cave one night after patrol, he doesn’t really know what to do.

“I have to go back!” Dick shouts at him, and he’s breathing heavily, he’s panicking. “I have to go back, I have to help him!”

“Alright, alright,” Bruce tries to calm him down. “Where did you come from?”

Bruce keeps trying to grab hold of him to keep him still and calm him down, but Dick keeps squirming away.

“I need to go home!” he cries. “Stop! Stop, I need to go home! You’re not my Bruce!”

Bruce freezes, because he’s still in his batsuit. He still has the cowl on. There’s no way this child should know who he is.

It takes a while, but he eventually figures out what’s going on. Once Dick calms down. Once Dick explains that his Bruce sent him away. That his Bruce came back from a mission with the JL, and he was hurt, he was hurt so so badly, and the world around them was crumbling. He wouldn’t let Dick help him. He grabbed a bag and gave it to Dick and sent him away.

This Bruce has no idea what to do. He has a distraught, panicking child in his cave. He can’t send him back to the world he just came from. What is he supposed to do with him?

He brings Dick upstairs to the manor and gives him a room. Well, Dick picks the room. He says it’s his. Bruce doesn’t argue.

Later that night, as he broods in the cave, he receives a transmission from the Bruce who sent Dick here. It’s a video explaining why he picked this universe, why he picked this Bruce. He pleads for him to take care of Dick. To keep him safe. He explains what’s going on in his universe, how it’s not going to survive much longer.

“You’ll love him, I promise you will,” this other Bruce tells him. “He’s the best kid from any universe. He deserves the best. He deserves to live. I know you’ll do right by him.”

And, well, shit. Now he’s gonna have to keep the kid. He just needs to figure out how to go about it from a legal standpoint. He can’t just say the kid appeared in his basement.

Maybe he’ll say Dick is the product of some fling from a decade ago. That’s plausible. That could work.

Damian, of course, argues against it. He says it’s too risky for people to know their superhero identities are together because someone could use it against them. He also thinks that someone could connect Robin and Superboy dating to Jon and Damian dating and then figure out their secret identities.

Jon shoots this down because people already know that Robin and Superboy are friends and use it against them, so that wouldn’t change. Also, they know plenty of people who are publicly dating as both their superhero and civilian identities and no one has figured any of them out yet.

(Also also, Damian and Jon have a bad habit of making out while on patrol together- usually Jon’s fault- so it’s really only a matter of time before someone sees.)

Jon keeps bringing up these points and pestering Damian until he finally agrees. Jon makes them film all these stupid TikTok’s, and Damian acts all bothered, but he actually starts to like it. Cue Damian filming without Jon knowing and purposely doing things in them that annoy Jon just to ragebait him.

His first video is titled “seeing how loud I have to say my boyfriend’s name before he shows up.” All Damian has to do is whisper and Jon’s there, super worried because why would Damian have to whisper unless he can’t speak freely for some reason? The internet loses their shit over it since the video makes it obvious that Jon is always listening for Damian and is very protective over him.

He has another one called “how long will it take my boyfriend to use his x-ray vision on me if I pretend to be hurt?” Damian sets up the camera and then fakes a slight limp when Jon shows up for patrol. Jon’s eyes immediately get unfocused and a second later he’s asking why Damian’s limping if nothing’s broken? Damian laughs and looks at the camera, which Jon then notices, and he starts yelling because “that’s not funny, D, I thought you were hurt!”

His most popular video is actually a series of videos where he just throws himself off of things and times how long it takes Jon to catch him. Sometimes Jon’s already with him, sometimes he’s not. Sometimes Damian calls for Jon, sometimes he doesn’t. No matter what, Jon always shows up and catches him in record time. The internet absolutely adores them.

Hal frowns and says he meant like... serious kissing. Bruce suddenly turns pink, nods slowly, and presents his forehead while closing his eyes tight.

And this:

lil sketch of dead on main for my fic oug

and a wip for the serious(tm) pic of danny in his 20 his phantom form got short hair while his human adult form hav long hair

Robin: Come on! It'll be fine! *tries to grab him*

Phantom: I don't want to!

Batman: *walks into the cave*

Phantom: *bolts towards Batman and hides behind him*

Robin: Wha- You can't hide behind Batman! That's not fair!

Phantom: *sticks his tongue out*

Batman: What is this about?

Robin, groaning: I want Phantom to Possess-

Phantom: Overshadow.

Robin: I want Phantom to Overshadow me so I can practice breaking out of it. Its training!

Batman, glancing back at Phantom: Hmn?

Phantom: I don't-I don't like Overshadowing people. It feels-it feel icky.

Robin: Icky? Seriously? What are you, five?

Phantom: Five times more respectful than you.

Robin: You-

Batman: Enough. Robin, Phantom already said 'no', hes not comfortable with it. Consent goes both ways, and if I find out you've been bothering him about it I'll bench you and sign you up for Consent and Conmunication Training.

Robin: Ugh okay. Sorry Phantom, I'll drop it. *stalks off with a fake pout*

Phantom, visibly relieved: Thanks. I really, really hate Overshadowing.

Tim: That sounds like a proposal.