oh fuck, the megatherom.

(Puffing out my chest) Yeah well i’ve been followed and eventually unfollowed by several popular niche bloggers i hold strange amounts of respect for so you’d better watch who you’re speaking to that way

Everyone makes fun of the millennial overpriced burger restaurants but the worst part is that they got you hooked on some bullshit and promptly shut down because their polycule broke up or whatever. You’ll never get to eat the caramelized onion apple parmesan sex bomb burger again. And it was $23 and good.

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

lately been feeling like i have 1 angel wing and 1 devil wing and 1 normal eye and 1 black and red eye with black tears coming out of it

i am so undertattooed

they put my blood through every test under the sun and yet nowhere in the pages and pages of lab reports do they tell me what my blood type is

your neutrophils absolute? 2.71. anion gap? why, that's 11! hemoglobin A1C? a solid 5.4. and don't fret, champ—your VLDL (calculated) is a cool 12. real fascinating stuff. hm? what's that? you want to know what kind of blood you have? like, so you won't have to look your next ER nurse in the eye and tell her you have no clue what type you have right after giving her a date of birth that confirms you are over 30 years old? psh, don't be silly! we can't tell you that! it's a ✨secret✨

fighting the problematic stereotype of 'only the bad guys are weird sex perverts' by making the good-hearted protagonist an even weirder sex pervert

If nothing else, I am at least grateful for transgender women and sadomasochism

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?