poptropica islands, rated.
Early Poptropica Island: a lot of intense aesthetic mismatching. the 8-bit “early poptropicans” gag is genuinely pretty funny though. nostalgia value is waY HIGH but that’s sort of the only thing it has going for it. 2/10
Shark Tooth Island: a step up but still average. had “A Plot” and a consistent aesthetic throughout. not much, but better. 4/10
Time-Tangled Island: utterly and completely flawless. 10/10
24 Carrot Island: b movie-esque sci-fi/horror romp. absolutely no idea what was happening on this island but that bunny guy had such a Look going. 6/10
Super Power Island: a bunch of supervillains broke out of prison, thus ensues the Top 10 Anime Battles of All Time + you got super powers. tight af. 7/10
Spy Island: weird plot-line about hair? 5/10.
Nabooti Island: I Bless The Chaos Emeralds Down In Africa. 7/10.
Astroknights Island: medieval knights in space and you gotta save the princess from a chaotic neutral cyborg bard. no clue what kind of aesthetic these dudes were going for here but I love every second of it. 8/10.
Counterfeit Island: spy island but better. genuinely one of the cooler plot-lines on an island about thwarting an art heist. rad female villain. 9/10.
Mythology Island: one of the coolest things that ever wracked my feeble child body. cool outfits and quests and I think you become a god in the end? sign me the fuck up. bonus points for having the balls to make zeus the bad guy (@ rick riordan, lookin’ at you). 10/10.
Skullduggery Island: pirates. you are one. a single point deducted, however, for trying to stealthily teach me about how bank loans work. 9/10.
Steamworks Island: interesting premise where you spend pretty much the entirety of the island alone, exploring a post-disaster steampunk city. Not as strong story-wise, but one of the visually cooler islands they ever did. 9/10.
Cryptids Island: poptropica was so ahead of the cryptid curve and this island kicked ass. how can you go wrong with a cryptid hunting adventure?? bonus points for possessing the fucking gall to have the player ride a motorcycle into the new jersey woods at night to explore an abandoned shack and see the fucking devil in the flesh. 11/10.
Wild West Island: cowboys but you don’t use real guns because i think they got in trouble for the devil thing. 8/10.
Wimpy Wonderland Island: Jeff, i appreciate your work but i don’t want this. 2/10.
Red Dragon Island: magic treehouse-no-jutsu. i know we’re all upset this island wasn’t based on thomas harris’s acclaimed 1981 crime thriller novel of the same name but the weeb-ass ninja shit was cool and I did spend time in prison there, so it is kind of like red dragon! points deducted for being sell-outs tho. 7/10.
Mystery Train Island: TRAIN MYSTERY SET DURING THE CHICAGO WORLD’S FAIR WHERE YOU CLUDEO THE FUCK OUT OF HISTORICAL FIGURES AND HAVE A BOSS BATTLE ON A FERRIS WHEEL. IT’S FLAWLESS. 10/10.
Ghost Story Island: it had genuinely terrifying voice-acting and it made me shit myself. 8/10.
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