I know that we have been MIA. A lot has happened over the last year. One of the major things is that I got engaged! Scarlet’s dad is also getting married within the next few months, so she will be gaining two stepparents this year.
In May he gave me this big empty book for us to fill with our adventures and then got down on his knee like in the round barn (which has always been one of our places… the 3 of us) I knew he had a ring, but was going to take it up with Scarlet first. We didn’t want it to be another one of those decisions that just happened to her. We wanted her to feel involved/not powerless over a choice that impacts her in a giant way. He showed her the ring and she just made a shocked face and ran inside right away without saying a word. She shut herself in the bedroom with me and said “MOM. OK DON’T TELL BOBBY I TOLD YOU BUT HE GOT YOU A RING. LIKE A WEDDING RING.” She went on to describe it in full detail and then tell bobby “Sorry. Me and my mom don’t have secrets.” He asked me later that day and afterwards we went swimming. It was just scarlet and me walking by the water and she told me that she was happy for me. That is HUGE because she is honestly so possessive when it comes to me. That’s another reason I’m keeping her name. We booked our wedding photographer like a month or two after technically dating. It was always going to be all or nothing with us. I’m happy that we really have it all now. May 12, 2015 cannot come soon enough. We always say that Scarlet knew before we did that we would end up together. She was our cupid, for sure.
We’ve had such a great year together. I know that our followers missed out on most of it, unless you follow me on IG or some other form of social media. I decided to step down from dearscarlet for awhile because it was taking more out of me than it was giving me. Recently, Scarlet has learned to read. She’s so good and it makes my heart swell with pride. She’s one of the best readers in her class. It truly brings me to tears to see her unlock that power in herself because I know it will be one of her most important life tools. Because of this change, we’ve been reading over this blog a little together. It’s been so fun to remember all of the things we’ve done or she’s said and been the last five or six years. It’s kind of changed my mind about stopping.
The only thing about it for me was when you start to get a following people begin to feel a sense of entitlement. They believe it’s their right to criticize you or give you often condescending and unwarranted advice. It’s hard. Because I refuse to put ads on this blog, it was all of the negative and nothing really coming from it. It became a negative energy that I didn’t need and could not make space for in my life.
We are getting married in Seattle, just the three of us. It’s a big honeymoon/elopement adventure. We’re going to Yellowstone. Back in 2007, the day before I found out I was pregnant with Scarlet I found out I was hired to work there for a summer. It was an adventure I had to decline because I would have been 7-9 months pregnant during that time. I vowed to someday take that little human that was growing in my body and instead take that adventure WITH her. I put it on hold.
I’m so excited for all of it, it’s only around 80 days away. That being said, there’s been a glitch. Yesterday, the company Bobby works for downsized and he lost his job out of nowhere. I’m working full time and can afford to support us until he finds something new, I’m no stranger to budgeting, but this wedding is going to be hard to swing to say the least. I was also planning on getting a tax return and found out I actually owe $700 to the IRS a month before the wedding because of a mistake I made on my W4. Luckily, we have almost everything we need for it except paying off the photographer and our travel expenses. I hate to admit how prideful I am or how rough this is for me to do, but blogging is my last bargaining chip. Bobby’s last job was flexible enough for him to still take care of Scarlet while I worked and I don’t see him finding anything close to being that flexible in the months before the wedding, which puts us in a huge rut because we have no family in this area to help out.
The only thing I can promise is quality content. This is the only thing I can think to offer right now. I posted the link the our registry on my IG about a month ago and everyone who has pitched in has included such supportive and wonderful messages. The kindness and generosity of my followers has always been overwhelming to me. I don’t even know that I’d be here today if I wouldn’t have had it during my divorce, truly lifesaving. That being said, we just aren’t there yet. We’ve both worked hard this year and saved enough for my dress, our rings, etc. But we have a lot of expense ahead of us and this is the only thing I can really think to do. I promise I’ll keep this space ad free and full of quality content regularly if you guys could do anything at all that you can. Here is the link to the registry. Anything at all helps, even a reblog or a $5 donation to travel expenses.
It feels really good to be this happy and I do not want to have to miss out on this opportunity for our family. I have worked my booty off for the last year waking up at 4AM to work in a hospital bakery or working 10 hour shifts in the cafeteria. I can’t let it be for nothing. I can’t give up on this adventure. So, yeah. I need help. I’m asking for help. Asking for things means you’re vulnerable, and it’s not easy to do so please don’t be mean. You don’t have to help and you don’t have to read this blog, but please don’t be mean.
This is our wedding registry:
https://www.zola.com/registry/villegaspayne
